Olivaw (Level 13)

This movie may be one of the weaker Die Hards (it's still better than Die Hard II though) but it IS set around the Fourth of July, so it gets a high spot on the list. The main thrust of the movie is that John McClane is a hero, and heroes are AMERICAN. They don't have to be big and strong and bald, but they do have to have one quintessential AMERICAN quality: balls. And that's metaphorical balls. Ladies can be heroes too! But not in this film, which features John McClane hitting an Asian woman with an SUV. But to be fair, she was evil. And evil is UNAMERICAN. You disagree? Well, you know who else was evil? HITLER. I rest my case.

Look at the title of this film. It's totally AMERICAN. But it's not just about America saving the day. All the nations of the world come together to fight aliens! It's a message about cooperation! But still, the real heroes are Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, and that Vietnam vet who flew his plane into an alien space weapon. A group of more AMERICAN people you will not find. Unless you look pretty hard, I guess.

You know what else is AMERICAN? Shooting guys. Especially Russians and their allies. Well, Stallone made his career out of shooting guys, and First Blood Part II is where it he made it big time. It defined an entire era of action cinema and spawned countless imitators. You cannot deny it's influence extends far beyond it's year of release, even today. And just look at that poster. Look at it. You will not find a poster more AMERICAN unless someone makes a movie out of George Washington traveling through time and fighting Putin with his bare hands.

Oh wait, you know what I said about the most AMERICAN poster? I take it back. THIS poster is the most AMERICAN poster. And here's how AMERICAN this movie is: it's about a small-time boxer from Philadelphia fighting and beating Russia, Communism, and Steroids ALL AT THE SAME TIME. With multiple placements on this list, it just goes to show that Stallone is perhaps the most AMERICAN film star since John Wayne. And a helluva lot more talented, too. YEAH I SAID IT.

This movie is called THE PATRIOT. It's about the AMERICAN REVOLUTION and how Mel Gibson dual wields a sword and a tomahawk to kill BRITISH IMPERIALISTS. It's placement on this list is a foregone conclusion.

Patrick Swayze was a legend. He could sing, dance, fight, act, live, and love better than anyone in his day. Men wanted to be him, and woman just wanted him. He was a Man among men. So when you hear about a movie called RED DAWN where he and his friends must fight against a Soviet invasion of AMERICA, you don't sit still and twiddle your thumbs, you go WATCH THAT SHIT IMMEDIATELY.

You know what else is AMERICAN? Rebellion. And that's what this film is all about. Fuck you Establishment, Paul Newman ain't gonna take your shit. He'll eat as many hard-boiled eggs as he wants!

In the same vein, let us look at Dirty Harry. A film about a cop who plays by his OWN RULES, who does the dirty business no one else wants to, who is fed up with his Stupid Chief stopping him from exacting RIGHTEOUS JUSTICE and so goes on his own to stop a madman from killing a bus full of schoolchildren. Does that sound AMERICAN to you? Well if it doesn't then GO BACK TO RUSSIA, COMRADE.

There isn't anything much more AMERICAN than beating up Nazis. And there aren't a whole lot of people more AMERICAN than Harrison Ford. So combining the two was really a stroke of genius! And think about that name. Indiana Jones. His first name is a STATE! It don't get much more AMERICAN than that, folks!