Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins Quotes (1985)

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Remo Williams How old are you, Chiun? I mean, you are old, right?
Chiun For an apricot, yes. For a head of lettuce, even more so. But for a mountain, I have not begun in years! For a man, I am just right.
Remo Williams And now, I know.
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Chiun Do you know why they call it 'fast food'? Because it speeds the way to the grave.
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Remo Williams You know, Chiun, there are times when I really like you.
Chiun Of course. I am Chiun.
Remo Williams And there are times when I could really kill you.
Chiun Good! We will practice that AFTER dinner!
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Remo Williams Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?
Chiun (Attacks Remo, incapacitating him) Chinese...! The Korean is the most sacred creature ever to bless the earth with the imprint of his foot!
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Remo Williams You know, Chiun, sometimes you can be a real pain in the ass.
Chiun That is because it is the shortest route to your brain! Now, faster!
Remo Williams What's the rush?
Chiun I want to see if Jim is really going to walk again, or if the doctor just said that so that he could get a new wing added on to the hospital from his step mother.
Remo Williams Chiun, you're incredible.
Chiun No! (musical flourish in the orchestration, then pause) I am better than that...
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Remo Williams Jesus!
Chiun Concentrate! This is NO time for prayer!
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Chiun The trained mind does need a watch. Watches are a confidence trick invented by the Swiss.
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Conn MacCleary [to Remo] You're going to be the Eleventh Commandment: 'Thou shalt not get away with it'.
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Conn MacCleary All I can promise you is terror for breakfast, pressure for lunch, and aggravation for sleep. Your vacations will be two minutes when you're not looking over your shoulder, and if you live to draw a pension, it'll be a miracle.
Remo Williams Are there any disadvantages?
Conn MacCleary Hell, I'm lucky I've lasted THIS long.
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Chiun [reading ingredients list on canned food] It would be better for you to eat this can than what is inside of it. Why must everything in this country be coated with monositi ... monosoti ...
Remo Williams Monosodium glutamate. You can't even say it.
Chiun I can say 'rat droppings'. That does not mean that I wish to eat them.
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Chiun [to Remo] You are afraid! Fear is just a feeling. You feel hot. You feel hungry. You feel angry. You feel afraid. Fear can never kill you.
  • In today's dollars
    Domestic $14,393,902
  • = total worldwide gross $14,393,902
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