Rock of Ages User Reviews

Hey remember the 80’s? Or play some combination of Rock Band and Guitar Hero? Well Rock of Ages is for you than. The transition from broadway to the silver screen, shows its flaws the soundtrack entertained all the way.

Musicals are loud,bright,expressive and loud. Rock of Ages is all these things, but unlike the great movie musicals lacks a soul to draw viewers in and not just nod along to the beats. In its over 2 hour run time not once was I not very aware of what I was watching. Not having a soul is a interesting complaint for a movie so dead set in its love for the excessive 80’s. Ages looks like someone remembered the 80’s only in this fantasy land no one gets overly drunk,the booze is cheap, women are scantily clad, and the music is always rock.

The movie centers itself around two plots. One is something you’d find in any romantic comedy ever. The other about the fate of the famed Bourbon Room club. The later is by far the most interesting part of the movie, even if the drama is contrived, it at least had me wanting to see more of Alec Baldwin and Russell Brand. The trite love story centers around Sherrie and Dennis as they chase the dream of rock stardom and love in the dirty, but not that dirty, LA streets.

The Bourbon Room is threatened by, what else, uppity, middle aged, upper middle class, predominantly white, conservative women, led by Catherine Zeta-Jones as Patricia Whitmore. Whitmore in an attempt to win her husband the mayorship of Los Angeles, played by Bryan Cranston who is woefully underused, means to takedown the club by any means necessary and “clean up the streets”. The villainy is unoriginal and perhaps a little too easy given the rock-n-roll setting. It does give Zeta-Jones a chance to sing and dance, reminding me why I enjoyed her in Chicago so much.

Star Crossed Lovers? Maybe not.

The love story plot goes how you would expect it. Julianne Hough gives a good enough performance as Sherrie. Diego Boneta as Drew Boley though isn’t good at all. He is a Ken Doll, there to look good and let Hough dance around/on him. Nothing interesting is done with their characters, Sherrie does find herself dancing at a strip club.....that doesn't involve stripping, run by Mary J. Blige. Was burlesque a forbidden word? While Drew ends up in a boy band, leading to some decent humor. They do sing well fulfilling their roles at least to half way. These sections of the movie drag and are only marginally complemented by some of the songs. The stuff involving Stacee Jaxx and the Bourbon Room was far far more interesting.

Sex Incarnate

Now to Tom Cruise as Stacee Jaxx. Cruise is entertaining as the amalgam of rock stars ranging from Osborn to Axl Roes. Jaxx is a man about to go solo after fronting for the band Arsenel for ages. He is engrossed by the stereotypical excessive of fame, seeing himself as a “slave to rock-n-roll”. Cruise manages to properly play up the charisma found in singers while being utterly deadpan about it all. His performance is also perhaps helped by what Tom Cruies has become to pop culture in the year 2012. Still as the eternally hazy Jaxx Cruise is my favorite part of the film.

The cast as a whole is watchable, only with so many recognizable faces no one ever gets a large amount of screen time. Which is surprising for a movie that stays well past its welcome. The middle portion of the movie drags only livened up by the recognizable songs. 2 hours is too long an hour 45 minutes could be the sweet spot. For people who like cameos though this movie has plenty of them. Personally it was surprising to see Kevin Nash show up and not manage blow out his quad.

Some songs in Rock of Ages would make solid music videos. Heck if this were somehow re-imagined as a video anthology I’d of liked it more. Other musical numbers feel uninspired both from a choreography and lyrical standpoint. Shankman and whoever he had to do choreography also never play into the trashiness of 80s music videos, a shame for a movie so in love with the 80’s. Largely I was entertained since I knew the lyrics but never engaged.

In a summer filled with superheroics Rock of Ages is a nice change of pace. It is a watchable piece of entertainment. If you have already seen the stage play or simply want to sing along to the songs by the soundtrack.