Go and see The Lego Movie. Drop whatever you are doing and go and see The Lego Movie. Right now. Immediately. Get in a car or on a bus or run, don’t walk, to your nearest cinema to go and see The Lego Movie now. Do it. Vamanos.
Head cocked to the left, partial deafness in ear: first point of attack. Two: throat; paralyze vocal chords, stop scream. Three: got to be a heavy drinker, floating rib to the liver. Four: finally, drag in left leg, fist to patella. Summary prognosis: unconscious in ninety seconds, martial efficacy quarter of an hour at best. Full faculty recovery: unlikely.
As to where I am, I was, admittedly, lost for a moment, between Charing Cross and Holborn, but I was saved by the bread shop on Southford Hill. The only baker to use a certain French glaze on their loaves - a Brittany sage. After that, the carriage forked left and right, and then a tell-tale bump at the Fleet conduit. And as to who you are, that took every ounce of my not-inconsiderable experience. The letters on your desk were addressed to a Sir Thomas Rothman, Lord Chief Justice, that would be the official title. Who you really are is, of course, another matter entirely. Judging by the sacred ox on your ring, you're the secret head of the Temple of the Four Orders in whose headquarters we now sit, located on the northwest corner of St. James Square, I think. As to the mystery, the only mystery is why you bothered to blindfold me at all.
First, distract target. Then block his blind jab. Counter with cross
to the left cheek. Discombobulate. Dazed, he'll attempt a wild hay maker. Employ elbow block. And body shot. Block thorough left. Weaken right jaw. Now fracture. Break cracked ribs. Traumatize, solar plexus. Dislocate jaw entirely. Heel kick to diaphragm.