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Comedy of errors in which a stolen diamond causes nothing but trouble for numerous members of London's criminal underground, including a pair of small-time boxing promoters, three bumbling thieves and an incomprehensible gypsy.
Due to Brad Pitt's performance as Mickey being virtually impossible to understand, the 2 Disc DVD of Snatch has a hidden extra which shows subtitles for only Mickey's dialogue. The subtitle took the joke even furthur by merely leaving question marks on the screen when Mickey describes the caravan that Turkish will buy for him if he wins the courting round.
My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash.
When the film starts you are shown Turkish ( Jason Statham) and Tommy ( Stephen Graham), seated uncomfortably infront of an unseen person. A voice over narration by Turkish gives us a brief description of the situation and then the scene jumps to Antwerp. At Antwerp, Frankie Four Fingers ( Benicio Del Toro), a compulsive gambler, and some more gangsters are dressed as rabbis about to steal a 86-carat diamond from a Jewish jewellers. Frankie is lured into buying weapons from former KGB agent, Boris the Blade (throughout the film he is also called Boris the Bullet Dodger) due to one of the gang members is his brother.
Frankie contacted a local jewellery store owner, Doug the Head ( Mike Reid) about selling the diamond. Doug is in the Jewish community of London, but is not Jewish himself. Doug contacts Cousin Avi ( Dennis Farina) about the diamond. Avi is interested, and informs Doug to keep Frankie interested in selling.
While Frankie is trying to steal the diamond, Turkish and Tommy are getting ready for a big bout, using their top boxer, Gorgeous George. Tommy doesn't want anything to go wrong so he has bought a side arm from Boris the Blade and has concealed it in his pants. Turkish and Tommy are also running a slot machine business that, unlike the boxing, is legal and run from a stressed caravan. Turkish, unpleasant with how he has been working in a terrible environment and makes Tommy go and buy a new caravan from travelling gypsies (although most people just call them pikies). Tommy is been joined by Gorgeous George and they meet One Punch Mickey O'Neil ( Brad Pitt). Tommy buys a caravan from the gypsies, but while he and George are leaving the wheels fall off and Tommy returns to ask for the money back. Mickey refuses and George starts to demand the money, so Mickey suggests that he and George fight for it. Mickey is been beaten up until he gets one punch on George and knocks him out. Tommy returns to Turkish and tells him that Gorgeous George has been knocked out and won't be able to fight, but mentions that Mickey is a good fighter. Brick Top Polford expresses his dismay that George will not be fighting, Turkish has recruited Mickey by buying his mother a new caravan if he fights. Brick Top Polford while not impressed with the change allows the change to fighters as long as Mickey goes down in the fourth.
When Frankie is meeting with Boris the Blade, Boris convinces Frankie to place a bet on the fight that night. Knowing that he has the diamond Boris hires Vinny ( Robbie Gee) and Sol ( Lennie James), two pawnbrokers to rob Frankie and steal the Briefcase that contains the diamond (even though this is not mentioned to Vinny or Sol). If Vinny and Sol are able to do this then they will receive £10,000. To make the job go smoother they hire a getaway driver, Tyrone (Ade) an obese man who has trouble getting out of the car he's driving. Vinny brings alone a dog he found. The dog is rather aggressive and often bites anything it sees, to quieten it down Tyrone suggests to give it a crew toy, but it just swallows that and makes a squeaking noise whenever it bark.
Frankie is about to go into the bookie after he changes in his van. Before he gets the chance to change, Tyrone reverses into the van and knocks Frankie out. The three men wait for their time to rob the bookies.
At the boxing match Turkish is telling Mickey that he must go down in the fourth and throughout the match reaffirms the fact that he must go down in the fourth. To his name sake, Mickey delivers one punch and knocks the man out cold. Turkish and Tommy are displeased but not as much as Brick Top Polock.
Vinny and Sol leave Tyrone in the car and goes into the bookies to rob Frankie. When the two men enter the bookies they have their weapons drawn and the woman behind the counter hits the alarm thus closing off the exits and traps the men inside the building. Vinny is stuck in a window and is unable to free himself and Sol points the gun at the woman behind the counter and tells her to lower the window so he can get free. Vinny falls out and Sol demands that she hands over all the cash. She explains that there isn't any because "all bets are off". Sol doesn't believe this and the woman states that there is only a few coins. Sol puts his shot gun down to check the bag and the woman picks the gun up and fires a shot over the counter at the two men. They reach the front door and find it won't open and they decide to shoot at it. A bullet Ricochets off the door, breaks the bag open and hits Vinny's leg. After removing their masks Sol and Vinny realise that there is a camera pointing directly at them. Tyrone comes up and opens the door to get the other two out and all three rush to the car. Frankie, now awake and moving around leaves his van and the three men see him and knocks him out. Unable to remove the briefcase from him but it is attached to his arm, so they put him in the car and take him to the pawnbrokers.
Avi, back in New York, is urging Doug the Head to tell him the whereabouts of Frankie and the diamond. Doug explains that he is unaware of where he is. Avi feels that Doug hasn't been looking and decides to head to London to find Frankie and the diamond.
Sol, Tyrone and Vinny are at the pawnbrokers with Frankie bound to a chair and a bag over his head. Boris enters and wonders why Frankie is there as well instead of just cutting his arm off at the bookies. Vinny tells Boris there was no money at the bookie, so Boris compensates them with the 10,000 pounds in cash upfront. He declines and insists that he, Sol and Tyrone want half of what was in the case. Boris, not pleased with this demand, tell the three that whatever was in the case was his and that they were to give him the diamond. Due to not backing down, Boris gets angry and shoots Frankie in the face. They explain that it was still in the briefcase and the only one who knew the combination was Frankie. Boris once again unhappy with the situation takes out a cleaver and chops Frankie's hand off and takes the briefcase with the hand still attached. Boris been a kind soul lets Sol, Tyrone and Vinny keep the £10,000 and the body for their trouble.
Turkish returns home, and find Brick Top with two of his goons waiting for him. Brick Top explains that Turkish is in deep trouble, however, Brick Top was impressed by Mickey's style, and tells Turkish that he wants to use the gypsy in a bare-knuckle fight coming up, with Mickey still going down in the fourth.
Turkish and Tommy venture back out to the camp sites, and find Mickey and his friends "coursing" , a game that involves hungry dogs chasing a hare.Turkish wants Mickey to fight again in the bare-knuckle brawl. Mickey agrees to the fight as long as they buy his mother a new caravan. Although in the sense of been sporting Mickey tells Turkish that he will put up a bet on whether Turkish has to get his mother the caravan. Mickey decides that "coursing" would be a good way to settle the bet. If the dog captures the hare then Turkish doesn't have to pay a thing and he would fight for free, but if the hare escapes then Turkish would have to pay for his mother's new caravan. The scene juxtaposes between the hare running from the angry dog and Brick Top's gangsters finding Tyrone and putting him in a pit with more angry dogs. Tyrone, in the interest of saving himself, tells Brick Top everything about the robbery. The hare is almost caught in some close situations but eventually escapes. On the drive back to town, Tommy tries to test out the gun that Boris sold to him, but it's defective and won't fire.
Avi has no luck with Doug, and decides to hire Bullet Tooth Tony ( Vinnie Jones) to help him find the diamond and Frankie. Bullet Tooth Tony is a legend who it was said took six bullets and still survived. Tony agrees to work for Avi and thinks that Mullet ( Ewen Bremner) might know where to find Frankie. Tony finds Mullet and pulls his head into his car, winds the window up and drives down the street until Mullet talks. He eventually breaks and informs Tony and Avi about the pawnbrokers.
Back at the pawnshop, Vinny and Sol are trying to dispose of Frankie's body, when suddenly Brick Top walks in.Brick Top explains that if they wanted to get rid of the body, the best way would be to feed it to some pigs, and casually adds that is what he would do.Brick Top leads them to their outer office, where a group of goons wait, with bodybags and butcher knives, preparing to bring about the pawnbrokers' demise. As a survival instinct, Sol tells Brick Top about the diamond and expresses the fact that they can get it in four days. Brick Top thinks this is too long a grace period and gives them 48 hours.
Turkish tells Brick Top that if he wants Mickey to fight then they are going to have to get his mother a new caravan. Angry that Turkish would even think about asking him to pay for the caravan, Brick Top sends some gangsters to smash up his slot machine business. Turkish knocks two out but is eventually restrained and about to have his arm taken off, when Tommy walks in. With his defective gun Tommy is able to get them both out of there. Not content with destroying Turkish's legit business, Brick Top wants to send a message to Mickey by setting fire to his mother's caravan while she still inhabits it. Mickey is held back and is unable to save his mother before the caravan is engulfed in flames.
Tony and Avi go over to the pawnbrokers, where Vinny reveals, with Tony's gun to his head, that it was all Boris the Blade's idea. Tony is surprised to hear this name, and tells Avi about Boris. At Doug the Head's jewellery store, Tony, Avi and Rosebud see Boris walk in on the security camera. Claiming that he will take care of it, Rosebud heads towards Boris. The film cuts to the three men sitting in the car, all having scraps and Boris in the boot of the car. They head to Boris' house to claim the diamond.
The pawnbrokers don't have any guns, but they purchase some replicas with extra loud blanks to get back the diamond from Boris (Vinny isn't happy about this and lets Sol know about this). They're tipped off by Tyrone that he found Boris, but he wasn't alone. That's when the bizarre car montage begins...
The pawnbrokers are following Avi and Tony when suddenly they hit someone standing in the street.
Turkish and Tommy are driving along in their Land Rover, and Tommy is explaining why it's bad for Turkish to drink milk (It's due to humans not been used to dairy products). Tommy grabs the milk, and tosses it out of the window, only to hear a crash.
Tony is driving Avi and Rosebud, and Avi says that he wants to kill Boris. Tony suggests shooting him. Avi says it's too loud. Tony suggests stabbing. Avi says it's too cold-blooded. Tony says they should stab him, and tells Rosebud to pull out a blade from under the seat. Rosebud pulls out a large sword, when suddenly...a carton of milk splashes onto the windscreen, causing Tony to crash. Tony and Avi are fine, but Rosebud is dead, the sword sticking out of him. Avi looks across the street and sees Boris, tied up with a sack over his head, walking around, until suddenly hit, by the pawnbroker's car.
Turkish and Tommy are on Boris' porch and about ot knock on the door and demand the money for Tommy's malfunctioning gun, but Boris appears behind them and charges through to get a fully automatic assault rifle from his house. Neither of them wants to stop him.
After Rosebud's death, Avi and Tony decide not to let it get them down and head into the pub near them. Avi, along with the briefcase, heads to the bathroom while Tony orders a pint from the bar. The pawnbrokers and Tyrone, clad in the balaclavas and holding the replica guns, confront Tony. They tell him that he will give them the diamond or they will shoot. Tony is unphased by the demands and points out that they better get lost because the guns they are carrying have "replica" engraved on the side, while his gun has "Desert Eagle .50" inscribed on his. The three leave and see Avi carrying the briefcase out of the bathroom. While they are demanding the briefcase Boris breaks in brandishing the assault rifle. Noticing the noise Tony goes and has a look at what's happening, he tells Avi to "pull up his socks", so Avi and the pawnbrokers hit the ground while Tony shoots through the wall hitting Boris. The two pawnbrokers run away after grabbing the case and leave Tyrone behind. Tony walks into the hallway and shoots Boris a couple of times and makes his way to Tyrone to shoot Tyrone, but Boris is still alive and finally kills him. He is about to shoot Tyrone but finds out he ran out of bullets.
Vinny and Sol, now that they have the diamond, are about to give it to Brick Top Polock, when Tony suddenly appears. Vinny stuffs the diamond in his trousers, and makes Sol tell Tony and Avi it's back at the pawnshop. They head back to the pawnshop to look for the diamond. The dog has torn the pawnshop to pieces, tearing papers and shitting on the floor. Avi asks Tony to open a window. Vinny says the diamond is missing, and stated the dog must have eaten it. Avi tells Tony to open the dog up, but Vinny resists. There's a lot of commotion, and Vinny hands the diamond over to Avi, to save the dog from been cut open, taking it out of his trousers. Avi admires the diamond, but the dog suddenly jumps up and grabs the diamond with its mouth. Avi is very angry now, and grabs Tony's gun and starts firing everywhere. The dog jumps out of the open window. Avi tells Tony to follow him, but Tony doesn't go after it. Avi realizes that he just just killed Tony without thinking. Avi decides to head back to New York.
During O'Neil's wake, Mickey gets drunk. Turkish and Tommy wake him up, and tries to get him ready for the fight. Brick Top tells Mickey to do as he says, considering there's a handful of men waiting at the camp site, awaiting Brick Top's instructions to kill the gypsies there, if Mickey doesn't listen to him again. Mickey is told to go down fourth like in the first fight. Turkish shouts at Mickey not to knock the other bloke out. The fight begins, and Mickey once again opens with his mean left cross, knocking the other fighter down, but not out. The two just trading punches nothing really happening except for getting bloodied up. Mickey is not fighting properly and then is really getting hit hard by the other fighter. In the fourth round, after taking some major hits, Mickey is knocked to the ground. As he hits the floor, the mat of the ring changes into water, and Mickey is submerged in water, looking above to see himself lying down with the other man standing above him. All Mickey has to do now is stay down and not get back up. Mickey swims back up into his body, and, with one powerful punch, cold cocks the other fighter into submission. Brick Top tells the gangsters to follow him outside. He wants to shoot Turkish, Mickey and Tommy as they are leaving. Brick Top thinks he calls one of his men on his cell, and hears gunfire as expected. He hangs up, and as Mickey, Tommy and Turkish are getting to their car, Brick Top knocks on the window of his car, and demands that his man give him a gun. Before this is able to happen a shot rings out.
Turkish's narration brings the movie back around to before Brick Top about to shoot them. Mickey was expecting Brick Top to ambush the camp site. So the other gypsies surround Brick Top's men, and shot them. When Brick Top called one of his men, one of the gypsies answers. Mickey's friend then shoots Brick Top's man. The gypsies are also waiting in Brick Top's car, and when He demands a gun, one of the gypsies roll down the window, and shoots Brick Top in the face. Mickey takes off with the gypsies, they leave Turkish and Tommy in the area confused.
The next day, Tommy and Turkish go to the gypsy camp site, only to find it abandoned. The gypsies left in the middle of the night. Some police officers arrive, and ask Turkish what he's doing there. Suddenly, Turkish spots the dog that has the diamond inside it, and tells the police officer he was walking his dog. Tommy grabs the dog, and the officer lets them leave, only to go by Vinny and Sol in their car on the side of the road, being questioned by more police officers on why they have a dead man missing his arm in their trunk. Turkish has a narration explaining that Tommy wanted to keep the dog, but he made it go to the vet, to stop the squeaking. While at the vet, they discovered the diamond, and this leads to the scene at the start of the movie. The camera does a quick turn to reveal Doug the Head, who says he might know someone interested in it. The film then ends with Avi boarding a plane for London.