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- Third time isn’t quite the charm for Agents K and J, but a time travel plot opens up some new possibilities for these otherwise tired jokes and characters, reminding us that aliens can still be fun.
- Sound of My Voice
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- A time travel story with no time travel, Sound of My Voice is intimate science fiction with only one concern: constructing a smart, incredibly acted puzzle for viewers to lose themselves in.
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- Upcoming
- Podcast
| Sam Winchester |
|
I swore I was done hunting for good. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Come on, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, what was he supposed to do? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I was nine years old. He was supposed to say, "Don't be afraid of the dark." |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Don't be afraid of the dark? What, are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark! You know what's out there! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dad let you go on a hunting trip by yourself? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm twenty-six, dude. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I gotta find Dad. I gotta find Jessica's killer. It's the only thing I can think about. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Dad's given us a job to do and I intend to do it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
This book. This is Dad's single most valuable possession. Everything he knows about every evil thing is in here. And he's passed it on to us. I think he wants us to pick up where he left off, you know, saving people, hunting things. The family business. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You're scared. It's okay, I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn't feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom, I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day. And I do my best to be brave. And maybe your dad wants you to be brave, too. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You don't think I want to find Dad as much as you do? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah, I know you do. It's just that - |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm the one who's the been with him every single day for the past two years while you've been off to college going to pep rallies. We will find Dad, but until then, we're going to kill everything bad between here and there. Okay? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Come on, that can't be normal! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Hey, hey, it's just a little turbulence. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sam, this plane is going to crash, OK? So quit treating me like I'm friggin' four. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You need to calm down. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, I'm sorry, I can't. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yes, you can. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Dude, stow the touchy-feely, self-help yoga crap. It's not helping! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case. You don’t remember? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, maybe he had to raise his voice, but sometimes, you were out of line. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Right. Right, like when I said I’d rather play soccer than learn bowhunting. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Bowhunting’s an important skill. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
We’re gonna squat in an empty house? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I wanna try the steam shower. Come on. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[to Sam about John] I love the guy, but I swear he writes like friggin' Yoda. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Have you ever watched daytime TV? It's terrible. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[sighs] I talked to your doctor. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
That fabric softener teddy bear. Oooh! I'm gonna hunt that little bitch down. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, alright. Well, it looks like you're going to leave town without me. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What are you talking about? I'm not leaving you here. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Hey, you better take care of that car or I swear I'll haunt your ass. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I don't think that's funny. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Ah, come on. It's a little funny. [pause] Look Sammy, what can I say, man? It's a dangerous gig. I drew the short straw. That's it, end of story. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Don't talk like that, alright. We still have options. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What options? You got burial or cremation. I know it's not easy, but I'm gonna die and you can't stop it. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Watch me. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Hey, Dad. It's Sam. Uh, you probably won't even get this, but, uh, it's Dean. He's sick, and uh the doctors say there's nothing they can do. Um, but, uh, they don't know the things we know, right? So, don't worry, cause, uh, I'm gonna do whatever it takes to get him better. Alright? Just wanted you to know. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I have a confession to make. I'm the one who called them pretending to be a producer. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
That's great! I'm the one who put the dead fish in their back seat. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dude, dude, I'm not using this ID! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Why not? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Because it says "bikini inspector" on it! |
| John Winchester |
|
Somewhere along the line I stopped being your father, and I became your drill sergeant. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Hey, Dad, whatever happened to that college fund? |
| John Winchester |
|
Spent it on ammo. |
| Meg Masters |
|
[to pastor Jim] Well, I’ve lied... a lot. I’ve stolen. I’ve lusted. And the other day I met this man – a nice guy, you know? And we had a really good chat... sort of like this. Then I slit his throat and ripped his heart out through his chest. Does that make me a bad person? |
| John Winchester |
|
Alright, something like this start happening to your brother you pick up the phone and you call me. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Call you? Are you kidding me? Dad, I called you from Lawrence, alright? Sam called you when I was dying. I mean, getting you on the phone – I got a better chance of winning the lottery. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Where were you last night? |
| John Winchester |
|
I had some things to take care of. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Well, that's specific. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Come on, Sam. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Did you go after the Demon? |
| John Winchester |
|
No. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You know, why don't I believe you right now? |
| John Winchester |
|
Can we not fight? You know, half the time we're fighting I don't even know what we're fighting about. Just butting heads. Sammy, I've made some mistakes, but I've always done the best I could. I just don't want to fight anymore, okay? |
| John Winchester |
|
It's no trick. I'll give you the Colt and the bullet, but you've got to help Dean. You've got to bring him back. |
| Azazel |
|
Why John, you're a sentimentalist. If only your boys knew how much their daddy loved them. |
| John Winchester |
|
It's a good trade. You care a hell of a lot more about this gun than you do about Dean. |
| John Winchester |
|
You know... when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt and after what I'd seen I'd be...I'd be wrecked. And you...you'd come up to me and put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in they eye and, you'd say 'Its okay, dad.' Dean, I'm sorry. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
For what? |
| John Winchester |
|
You shouldn't have had to say that to me. I should've been saying it to you. I put too much on your shoulders. I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that. And you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Is that really you talking? |
| John Winchester |
|
Yeah, it's really me. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Why you saying this stuff? |
| John Winchester |
|
I want you to watch out for Sammy, okay? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah dad, you know I will. You're scaring me. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
All right, Dean, it's just we've been at Bobby's for over a week now and you haven't brought up Dad once. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You know what, you're right. Come here, I want to lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, maybe even slow dance. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I thought you said Gordon was a good hunter? |
| Ellen Harvelle |
|
Yeah, and Hannibal Lecter is a good psychiatrist. |
| Television | [sultry voice] Next on the skin channel, Casa Erotica IV, a tale of two Latin beauties... [Dean enters and Sam quickly turns off the television] | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[off-handedly] Hey. ... What? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Awkward... |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Rest in peace. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
For good this time, OK? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sam, you and dad, you’re the most important people in my life. And now... I never should have come back Sam, it wasn't natural, and now look what's come of it. I was dead and I should've stayed dead. You wanted to know I was feeling, well that's it. So tell me, what could you possibly say to make that alright? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What's dead should stay dead. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Pee break? So soon? You know, you might wanna get your prostate checked. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
My name is Dean Winchester. I am an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone. |
| Duane Tanner |
|
Has anyone seen my mom and dad? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[has shot and killed both] Awkward. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Come on, man, I know Sam, okay, better than anyone. He’s got more of a conscience than I do. The guy feels guilty surfing the Internet for porn. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
All right, so where to next, man? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
One word, Amsterdam. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Come on, man. I hear the coffee shops don’t even serve coffee. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Dude, this is sweet! I never get to work jobs like this. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Like what? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Old-school haunted houses. Secret passageways, sissy British accents. We might even get to run into Fred and Daphne while we're inside. Mmm, Daphne... love her. |
| Susan | Let me guess. You guys are here antiquing? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
How'd you know? |
| Susan | Oh, you just look the type. So, uh, a king-size bed? | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What?! No, uh no, we're... Two singles. We're just brothers. |
| Susan | Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What'd you mean that we look the type? |
| Frannie | So, what's it like, being an FBI guy? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, it's dangerous, yeah. And the secrets we gotta keep, oh God, the secrets. But mostly it's... it's lonely. |
| Father Reynolds | So, you're interested in joining parish? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, well you know, we just don't feel right unless we hit church every Sunday. |
| Father Reynolds | So where'd you say you lived before? | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Uh... |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Freedmont, Texas. |
| Father Reynolds | Really? That's a nice town. St. Theresa's parish. You must know the priest there. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sure, yeah... no, it's Father... O'Malley. |
| Father Reynolds | I know a Father Shaughnessy. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Shaughnessy. Exactly...what did I say? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dude, all right, I'll admit, we've gone pretty ghetto with spellwork before, but this takes the cake! I mean, a Spongebob placemat instead of an altar cloth?! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
We'll just put the Spongebob-side down. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What's going on with you Sam? Hm? Smokin'... throwin' bottles at people... sounds more like me than you. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean... back from the dead. Getting to be a regular thing for you, isn't it? Like a cockroach. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You know when people wanna describe the worst possible thing? They say it's like hell. Well, there's a reason for that. Hell is like, ah... Well, it's like hell. Even for demons. It's a prison made of bone, and flesh and blood and fear. And you sent me back there. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Meg. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No. Not any more. Now I'm Sam. By the way, saw your Dad there. He says "Howdy". |
| Girl | Here's to... | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Here's to us. |
| Girl | My god. You... are attractive. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Thanks. But no time for that now. You need to tell me about this urban legend. Please. Lives are at stake. |
| Girl | Sorry, I just . . . can't even concentrate. It's like staring . . . into the sun. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[exaggerated prissy tone] Dean! What do you think you're doing? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[smooth and casual] Sam, please. If you wouldn't mind, give me five minutes here. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean, this is a very serious investigation. We don't have any time for any of your blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah Blah! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
So you and this guy, Curtis, you were in the same house? |
| Frat Guy | Yeah. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You heard of what happened to him right? |
| Frat Guy | Yeah, he said it was aliens... but you know, whatever. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Look man, I know this all has to be so hard... |
| Frat Guy | Not so much. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
But I want you to know... I'm here for you. [pause] You brave little soldier. I acknowledge your pain. Come here. [hugs him] Too precious for this world. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
There was this guy. He was a research scientist. Animal testing. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Ya, you know, a dick. Which fits the pattern. |
| Molly | Oh, thank God! | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Call me Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It smells like old lady in here. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
It's an old country custom, Dean, planting a tree as a grave marker. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You are like a walking encyclopaedia of weirdness. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah, I know. |
| FBI Agent Victor Henricksen | You think you're funny? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I think I'm adorable. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well my room mate doesn't say much, how's yours? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
He just keeps staring at me in a way that makes me really uneasy. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sounds like you're making new friends. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[about being in prison] Dean, doesn't it bother you how well you seem to fit in here? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No, not really. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
But it's not real. None of it is. |
| Mary Winchester |
|
It's still better than anything you ever had. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Ever since Dad... all I can think about is how much this job has cost us. We’ve lost so much; we’ve sacrificed so much... |
| Sam Winchester |
|
But people are alive because of you. It’s worth it, Dean. It is. It’s not fair, and y’know it hurts like hell, but it’s worth it. |
| Carmen | What do you say later we get you a cheeseburger? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh god yes. How’d I end up with such a cool chick? |
| Carmen | I just got low standards. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Bring me some pie! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I couldn't let him die, Bobby. I just couldn't. He's my brother. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
How's your brother gonna feel when he knows you're going to hell? |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Something big is going down. End of the world big. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, then just let it end! |
| Bobby Singer |
|
You don't mean that. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You don't think so? You don't think I've given enough? You don't think I've paid enough? I'm done with it. All of it. If you know what's good for you, you'll turn around and get the hell out of here. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I don't know. It's like there's a light at the end of the tunnel. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
That's hellfire, Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Whatever. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[trying to cover up his phone call] Oh, I was just ordering pizza. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Dude, you do realize that you’re in a restaurant? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah! Oh, yeah, yeah... [lamely] I just felt like pizza, y’know? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Okay... Weirdy McWeirderton. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm Batman. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[sarcastically] Yeah, you're Batman. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I lost my shoe. |
| Casey |
|
So you see? Is my kind really really all that different than yours? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, except that, uh, demons are evil. |
| Casey |
|
And humans are such a lovable bunch. Dick Cheney. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
He's one of yours? |
| Casey |
|
Not yet. Let's just say he's got a parking spot reserved for him downstairs. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
How do you sleep at night? |
| Bela Talbot |
|
On silk sheets, rolling naked in money. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What a crazy old broad. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Why, because she believes in ghosts? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Ha ha, look at you. Sticking up for your girlfriend, you cougar hound. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I don’t want you to worry about me, Dean. I want you to worry about you. I want you to give a crap that you're dying! |
| Peter | You're not cops. Not dressed like that, not in that crappy car. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Hey, no need to get nasty! |
| Gordon | Sam Winchester’s the antichrist. | |
| Bela Talbot |
|
Ooh. I’d heard something about that… |
| Gordon | It’s true. | |
| Bela Talbot |
|
…from the Easter Bunny. Who heard it from the Tooth Fairy. |
| Gordon | [to Sam, in the dark] You have no idea what I've faced to get here. I lost everything.. my life. But it's worth it. I'm hunting the most dangerous thing I've ever hunted. You're not human, Sam. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[opens his gift from Dean] Yeah! Skin mags! And shaving cream! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
First thing you have to know is we have the coolest dad in the world. He's a superhero. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
He is? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah. Monsters are real. Dad fights them. He's fighting them right now. |
| Santa's Elf | Welcome to Santa's Court. Can I escort your child to Santa? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Um, no. But actually, uh, my brother here, it's been a life long dream of his. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[confused look] |
| Santa's Elf | I'm sorry, no kids over 12. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
He's just kidding. We only came here to watch. |
| Santa's Elf | Ewww. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
But Dad said the monsters under my bed weren't real. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
That's 'cause he'd already checked under there. But, yeah, they're real. Almost everything's real. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Is Santa real? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No. |
| Ruby |
|
The answer is yes, by the way. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sorry? |
| Ruby |
|
Yes, the same thing will happen to you. It might take centuries, but sooner or later, Hell will burn away your humanity. Every hellbound soul, every one, turns into something else. Turns you into us, so, yeah... yeah, you can count on it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Why does a rabbit always get screwed in the deal? Poor little guy. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
So let me get this straight. You were human once. You died, you went to Hell, and you became a... |
| Ruby |
|
Yeah. That's happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That's what Hell is. Forgetting who you are. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
My father was an obsessed bastard! All that crap he dumped on me about protecting Sam, that was his crap! He's the one who couldn't protect his family! He's the one who let Mom die, who wasn't there for Sam! I always was! It wasn't fair! I didn't deserve what he put on me! And I don't deserve to go to Hell! [Shoots Nightmare Dean with shotgun] |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[gets up, with black demon eyes] You can't escape me, Dean. You're gonna die, Dean! And this, this is what you're gonna become! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[opens door] I thought you said you weren't coming, Bela. |
| Bela Talbot |
|
Well, I'm full of surprises. [pauses] You wanna know why I'm really here? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Why? |
| Bela Talbot |
|
I can't stop thinking about you. [takes off jacket; has only underwear under it] |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You really wanna do this? [they start kissing] |
| Bela Talbot |
|
Sam, oh Sam! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sam! Wake up!! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What? [wipes drool off his cheek] |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Dude, you were out, and making some serious happy noises. Who was it? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Who was what? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Come on, you can tell me. Angelina Jolie? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Brad Pitt? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No. No! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I take it we believe the legends. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
When *don't* we? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[Sam has told Dean that he got hit by a car] And? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
And what? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Did it look cool, like in the movies? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You peed yourself. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[struggling to stay dignified] Of course I peed myself. Man gets hit by a car, you think he has full control over his bladder? Come on! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[talking to the tied-up owner of the Mystery Spot] Everybody's fine. Nobody's gonna get hurt, okay? Sammy? Maybe you should drop the axe and let this guy go. What do you say? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Something's gotta be going on here, I intend to find out what. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Place is torn up pretty good, dude. Time to give it a rest. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
NO! I'm gonna take it down to studs. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[looking at their prisoner, chuckling] Sammy, that's enough. Give me the axe. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Leave it, Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Give it! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No, you give it! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Let - let go! Come on -- |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No, Dean. Leave it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Come on -- [gets killed, again] |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean? Oh, no. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
These tacos taste funny to you? [dies] |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Is that, uh, BustyAsianBeauties.com? |
| Stewie | No... maybe. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Word to the wise. Platinum membership -- worth every penny. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I just talked to an 84-year old grandmother who's having phone sex with her husband who died in Korea. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Eww. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Completely rocked my understanding of the word "necrophilia". |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Hiya, Bela. Here's a fun fact you may not know: I felt you hand in my pocket when you swiped that motel receipt. |
| Bela Talbot |
|
You don't understand. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh, I'm pretty sure I understand perfectly. Y'see, I noticed something interesting in your hotel room. Something tucked above the door, an herb. Devil's Shoestring. Well, there's only one use for that. [pause] Holding Hellhounds at bay. So you know what I did? I went back and took another look at your folks obit, turns out they died ten years ago today. You didn't kill them. A demon did your dirty work. You made a deal, didn't you, Bela. And it's come due. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
[to Dean] Family don't end with blood, boy. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You know if this doesn't go the way we want, I want you to know that... |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Nooo, no, no, no, no, no. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No what? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You're not gonna bust out the misty goodbye speech, okay? I mean, if this is my last day on Earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Who are you? |
| Castiel |
|
Castiel. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, I figured that much. I mean what are you? |
| Castiel |
|
I'm an Angel of the Lord. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Get the hell out of here. There's no such thing. |
| Castiel |
|
This is your problem, Dean, you have no faith. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Who are you? |
| Castiel |
|
I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, thanks for that. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I tried everything, that's the truth. I tried opening the Devil's Gate, Hell, I tried to bargain, Dean, but no demon would deal, all right. You were rotting in Hell, for months, for months, and I couldn't stop it. So, I'm sorry it wasn't me, all right. Dean, I'm sorry. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It's okay, Sammy. You don't have to apologize, I believe you. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Dean, your chest was ribbons, your insides were slop. And you'd been buried for four months. Even if you could slip out of Hell and inside your meatsuit. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I know. I should look like a Thriller video reject. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
What do you remember? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Not much. I remember I was a hellhound's chew toy. Then lights out. Then I come to six feet under. That was it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Look, pal, I'm not buying what you're selling. Who are you really? |
| Castiel |
|
I told you. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Right. And why would an angel rescue me from Hell? |
| Castiel |
|
Good things do happen, Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Not in my experience. |
| Castiel |
|
What's the matter? You don't think you deserve to be saved. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Why'd you do it? |
| Castiel |
|
Because God commanded it. Because we have work for you. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm trying to come up with a theory here, okay? Work with me. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean, we have a theory. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, one with a little less fairy dust on it, please! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
If there's a god, what the hell is he waiting for, huh? Genocide? Monsters roaming the earth? The freaking apocalypse? At what point does he lift a damn finger and help the poor bastards that are stuck down here? |
| Castiel |
|
The Lord -- |
| Dean Winchester |
|
If you say works in mysterious ways so help me I will kick your ass! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Don't you think that if angels were real that some hunter, somewhere, would have seen one, at some point... ever?! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah, you just did, Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Thanks... nice threads. You know Sonny and Cher broke up, right? |
| John Winchester |
|
Sonny and Cher broke up? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sammy, wherever you are, mom's a babe. I'm going to hell... again. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
For what it's worth, ummm. It doesn't matter what your dad thinks. I like that John kid. |
| Mary Winchester |
|
You do? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah. Yeah, I think you two are meant to be. Hell, I'm depending on it. |
| Mary Winchester |
|
What? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Nothing. |
| Mary Winchester |
|
I want a family. I wanna be safe. You know the worst thing I can think of, the very worst thing, is for my children to be raised into this like I was. |
| Castiel |
|
Your brother is headed down a dangerous road, Dean. And we're not sure where it leads. So stop it. Or we will. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[when Dean confronts Sam about using his powers] You were gone. I was here. I had to keep on fighting without you. And what I'm doing, it works. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Tell me, if it's so terrific, then why'd you lie about it to me? Why did an angel tell me to stop you? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Cas said if I don't stop you, he will. See what that means, Sam? That means that God doesn't want you doing this. So, are you just gonna stand there and tell me that everything is all good? |
| Travis | Boys, we got ourselves a Rugaru. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Rugaru? Is that made up? That sounds made up. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, look at me. I mean, I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? No bullet wounds, knife cuts, none of the off-angle fingers from all of the breaks - I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom. Which leads me to conclude, sadly, that my virginity is intact. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I've been rehymenated. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of hell, but no one could do that. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Brother! I have been rehymenated. And the dude will not abide! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
We still got to see the new "Raiders" movie. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Saw it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Without me? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You were in hell. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
That's no excuse! |
| Pizza Delivery Guy | Uh, pizza delivery? | |
| Count Dracula |
|
Ah, you have brought a repast. Excellent. Continue to be of such service, and your life will be spared. |
| Pizza Delivery Guy | Uh-huh. That'll be $15.50. | |
| Count Dracula |
|
Tell me... |
| Pizza Delivery Guy | Yeah? | |
| Count Dracula |
|
Is there garlic on this pizza? |
| Pizza Delivery Guy | I don't know. Did you order garlic? | |
| Count Dracula |
|
No! |
| Pizza Delivery Guy | Then no. Look, mister, I've got four other deliveries to make. You want to just pay me the money so I can go? | |
| Count Dracula |
|
Of course. Yes. But I have a coupon. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dude, where are you going? That was our hotel. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sam, I'm not going to make a left hand turn into on coming traffic. I'm not suicidal. Did I just say that? That's kind of weird. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dude, you're going 20. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
And? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
That's the speed limit. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What? Safety's a crime now? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I mean, come on Sam. What are we doing? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
We're hunting a ghost. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
A ghost, exactly. Who does that? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Us. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Us, right. And that Sam is exactly why our lives suck. I mean come on, we hunt monsters. What the hell? Normal people, they see a monster and they run, not us. No, no, no we search out things that want to kill us, yeah, huh, or eat us. You know who does that? Crazy people. We are insane. [pause] And then there's the bad diner food. And the skeevy motel rooms. And then the truck stop waitress with the bizarre rash. I mean who wants this life Sam? Huh? Seriously? I mean do you actually like being stuck in a car with me eight hours a day every day? I don't think so. I mean, I drive too fast and listen to the same five albums over and over and over again and... and... and I sing along and I know I'm annoying and I know that. And you, you're gassy. You eat half a burrito and you're toxic. I mean, you know what? You can forget it. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Whoa, Dean. Where are you going? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Stay away from me, Sam. Okay? 'Cause I am done with it. I'm done with the monsters and the hellhounds and the ghost sickness and the damn apocalypse! I'm out. I'm done. I quit. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Those are real. Obviously. I mean, who would pretend to be an FBI agent, huh? That's just nutty. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
This isn't gonna work. I mean, come on, these badges are fake, what if we get busted, we could go to jail! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
We've been ignoring the biggest clue we had. You...! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
... I don't wanna be a clue! |
| Kate | I just got molested by Casper the pervy ghost! That's what happened! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You were in Hell, Dean. Maybe you did what you did there... but you're not them. They were barely human. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No, you're right. I wasn't like them. I was worse. They were animals, Sam. Defending territory. Me? I did it for the sheer pleasure. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I enjoyed it, Sam. They took me off the rack, and I tortured souls, and I liked it. All those years; all that pain. Finally getting to deal some out yourself... I didn't care who they put in front of me, because that pain I felt, that just slipped away. No matter how many people I save, I can't change that. I can't fill this hole. Not ever. |
| Danny | You hunt ghosts? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
That's right. |
| Danny | Like Scooby-Doo? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Better. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Do you think we will? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Die before we get old. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Haven't we both already? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You know what I mean, Dean. I mean, do you think we'll still be chasing demons when we're 60. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No. I think we'll be dead. For good. Why, do you want to end up like... like Travis? Or Gordon, maybe? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
There's Bobby. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh yeah, there's a poster child for growing old gracefully. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Having fun? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[impersonating a gym teacher] The whistle makes me their god. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Right... nice shorts! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Today you will have the honor of playing one of the greatest games ever invented. A game of skill, agility, cunning. A game with one simple rule. Dodge. [nails kid with ball] Sorry. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
So what's our cover? FBI, Homeland Security, Swedish exchange students? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You seem pretty cheery. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Strippers, Sammy. Strippers! We are on an actual case involving strippers. Finally! |
| Alastair | I couldn't break him, pulled out all the stops, but John, he was made of something unique. The stuff of heroes. But then came Dean. Dean Winchester, I thought I was up against it again. But, daddy's little girl, he broke. He broke in thirty. Just not the man your daddy wanted you to be, huh, Dean? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Should we go check this out? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Like... right now? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No. No, it's getting late. You're right. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I am dying to check this out right now. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Right? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
How would we live? Come on, you got to be kidding me. How would we get by -- with stolen credit cards, huh? Eating diner food drenched in saturated fats? Sharing a crap motel room every night? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Those are details. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Details are everything! You don't want to go fighting ghosts without any health insurance. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[reading on the computer] There are 'Sam girls' and 'Dean girls' and... what's a slash fan? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
As in Sam-slash-Dean... together. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Like together together? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[horrified] They do know we're brothers, right? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Doesn't seem to matter. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh, come on, that... that's just sick! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Well, we're hoping that our article can... shine a light on an under-appreciated series. |
| Sera | Yeah! Yeah, because, you know, if we got a little bit of good press, then maybe we could start publishing again! | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No, no, no, no. God no. I mean, why, why would you want to do that? You know, it's uh... such a complete series. What with Dean going to Hell and all. |
| Sera | Oh my God, that was one of my favorite ones because Dean was so... strong and sad and brave. And Sam... oh, I mean the best parts are when they cry, you know, like in... like in "Heart." When Sam had to kill Madison, the first woman since Jessica he really loved. And in "Home," when Dean had to call John and ask him for help. If only real men were so open and in touch with their feelings. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Real men? |
| Sera | Oh... I mean, no offense. How often do you cry like that, hmm? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, right now I'm crying on the inside. |
| Sera | Is that supposed to be funny? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Lady, this whole thing is funny. |
| Castiel |
|
Dean, let him go! This man is to be protected. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Why? |
| Castiel |
|
He’s a prophet of the Lord. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
You - you’re Castiel. Aren’t you? |
| Castiel |
|
It’s an honor to meet you, Chuck. I admire your work. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Whoa whoa whoa. What, this guy, a prophet? Come on! He’s practically a penthouse forum writer! (to Chuck) Did you know about this? |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
I uh - I might have dreamed about it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
And you didn’t tell us? |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
It was too preposterous. Not to mention arrogant! I mean, writing yourself into the story is one thing, but as a prophet? That’s like M. Night level douchiness. |
| Adam Milligan |
|
Okay, so basically you're saying that every movie monster, every nightmare that I've ever had, that's all real. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Godzilla's just a movie. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Cas, hold up. What were you going to tell me? |
| Castiel |
|
I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve Heaven, I don't serve man. And I certainly don't serve you. |
| Castiel |
|
We need to talk. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm dreaming, aren't I? |
| Castiel |
|
It's not safe here... some place more private. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
More private? We're inside my head. |
| Castiel |
|
Exactly. Someone could be listening. |
| Zachariah |
|
I see you told the demons where the sword is. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh thank God, the Angels are here. |
| Lucifer |
|
People misunderstand me. They call me Satan and Devil but... Do you know my crime? I loved God too much. And for that, he betrayed me, punished me. Just as he has punished you. After all, how could God stand idly by while that man broke into your home and butchered your family in their beds? There are only two rational answers Nick. Either he's sadistic or he simply doesn't care. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
Sam! Sam, are you okay! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Well, my head hurts. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
Well, well, my last vision you were like full on Vader! Your body temperature was 150, your heart rate was 200, your eyes were black! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Your eyes were black? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I didn't know. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
[to doctor] Unlikely to walk again? Why you snot-nosed son of a bitch. Wait till I get out of this bed, I'll use my game leg to kick your friggin' ass! [doctor flees] Yeah, you better run! |
| Zachariah |
|
What, you thought you could actually kill Lucifer? You simpering wad of insecurity and self-loathing? No. You're just a human, Dean. And not much one of them. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What do you mean, I'm the sword? |
| Zachariah |
|
Michael's weapon. Or, rather, his... receptacle. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm a vessel? |
| Zachariah |
|
You're "the" vessel. Michael's vessel. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
How? Why? Why me? |
| Zachariah |
|
Because you're chosen! It's a great honor, Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh, yeah. Yeah, life as an Angel condom. That's real fun! I think I'll pass. |
| Becky Rosen |
|
... I memorized every word... for you. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Umm... Becky, can you... quit touching me? |
| Becky Rosen |
|
No... |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Where's Cas? |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
He's dead... Or gone... The archangel smote the crap out of him, I'm sorry. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Are you sure? I mean, maybe he just vanished into the light or something. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
Oh, no. He like exploded... Like a water balloon of chunky soup. |
| Castiel |
|
There is someone besides Michael strong enough to take on Lucifer. Strong enough to stop the Apocalypse. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Who's that? |
| Castiel |
|
The one who resurrected me and put you on that airplane. The one who began everything. God. I'm gonna find God. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Wow. Well, last night on earth. What, uh what are your plans? |
| Castiel |
|
I just thought I'd sit here quietly. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Dude, come on. Anything? Booze? Women? Dean: You have been with a women before, right? Or an angel, at least? You mean to tell me you've never been up there doing a little cloud seating? |
| Castiel |
|
I never had occasion, okay? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
All right. Let me tell you something. There are two things that I know for certain. One. Bert and Ernie are gay. Two. You are not gonna die a virgin. Not on my watch. Let's go. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[killing a vampire] Eat it, Twilight! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh well, if it isn't the ghost of Christmas Screw You. |
| Zachariah |
|
Enough. Dean, enough. You saw it, right? You saw what happens. You're the only person who can prove the Devil wrong. Just say yes. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
And how do I know that this whole thing isn't one of your tricks, huh? Some angel hocus-pocus? |
| Zachariah |
|
The time for tricks is over. Give yourself to Michael. Say yes, and we can strike. Before Lucifer gets to Sam. Before billions die. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Nah. |
| Zachariah |
|
"Nah"? You're telling me you haven't learned your lesson? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh, I learned a lesson all right. Just not the one you wanted to teach. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You know, it's kinda funny talking to a messenger of God on a cell phone. You know, like watching a Hell's Angel on a moped. |
| Castiel |
|
This isn't funny, Dean! The voice says I'm almost out of minutes! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I guess I expected more of a reaction -- panic maybe. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I guess I'm a little numb to to earth-shattering revelations at this point. |
| Future Dean | Sam didn't die in Detroit. He said yes. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yes? You mean... |
| Future Dean | That's right. The big yes to the Devil. Lucifer's wearing him to the prom. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
So you're really from '09? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, afraid so. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
Some free advice, when you get back there, you hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it like it's made of gold. 'Cause it it is. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Thanks, Chuck. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
Oh, you'll thank me all right. Mark my words. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dude, seriously? Still with the ham? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
We don’t have a fridge. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You don't stop being a soldier because you got wounded in battle. You're family. I don't know if you've noticed, but me and Sam, we don't have much left. I can't do this without you... I can't. So don't you dare talk about checking out. I don't want to hear that again. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Thanks. Now, are we done feeling our feelings? 'Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
How long do we have to keep doin' this? [unseen audience laughs] |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[tense smile] I dunno. Maybe forever? We might die in here. [unseen audience laughs] |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[addressing the unseen audience] How is that funny? Vultures. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You gotta calm down. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Calm down? I am wearing *sunglasses* at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags! I *hate* this game! I hate that we're in a procedural cop show, and you want to know why? Because I *hate* procedural cop shows! There's like three hundred of 'em on television, they're all the freakin' same, it's "ooh, a plane crashed here," oh shut up! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No guts, no glory. |
| Woman | I’ve got genital herpes. | |
| Older man | I’ve got genital herpes. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Seriously? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[runs up] Hey. You’re the one who said play our roles. So uh... |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah. Right [looks at the ground, hands on hips, then back up at the camera] I’ve – got – genital herpes. |
| Woman | I tried to be responsible. | |
| Older man | Did I try. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
But now I take twice daily Herpexia, to reduce my chances of passing it on. |
| Woman | Ask your doctor about using Herpexia. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[voice-over] Patients should always consult with a physician before using Herpexia. Possible side effects include headache, diarrhea, permanent erectile dysfunction, thoughts of suicide, and nausea. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I am doing all I can to slightly lessen the spread of – of – of genital herpes. [smiling fakely] And that’s a good thing. |
| Nurse | Doctor, seriously! | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What? |
| Nurse | Seriously, you are brilliant, you know that. And a coward. You’re a brilliant coward. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Uh, what are you talking about? |
| Nurse | As if you don’t know! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What are you watching? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Some kind of hospital show. "Dr. Sexy, M.D." It's based on a book. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[laughs] When did you hit menopause? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It's called channel surfing! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[looking at a gigantic sandwich] I'm gonna need a bigger mouth. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean, how can this *possibly* be real? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I don't know, all right! Oh, but there goes Dr. Wang, the sexy but arrogant heart surgeon. And there's Johnny Drake. Well, he's not even alive, he's a ghost in the mind of... of her. The sexy but *neurotic* doctor over there. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
So... *this* show has ghosts? Why? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I don't know. It *is* compelling. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I thought you said you weren't a fan. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm not. I'm not! Oh boy... |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[grinning, star-struck] It's him. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Who? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It's him, it's Dr. Sexy! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[notices the doctor's footwear, slams him against the wall] You're not Dr. Sexy. |
| Dr. Sexy |
|
You're crazy. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Really? Because I swore part of what makes Dr. Sexy sexy, is the fact that he wears cowboy boots. Not tennis shoes! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah, you're not a fan... |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It's a guilty pleasure! |
| Becky Rosen |
|
Look Sam. I’m not gonna lie. We had undeniable chemistry. But like a monkey on the sun, it was too hot to live. It can’t go on. Chuck and I... we found each other. My Yin to his proud Yang. And well, the heart wants what the heart wants. I am so, so sorry. |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
Yeah Sam. You know, sorry. |
| Becky Rosen |
|
Will you be alright? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[sighs] Honestly, I don’t know. I’ll just have to find a way to... keep living. I guess. |
| Becky Rosen |
|
God bless you! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
[reads LARP leaflet] Dad’s Journal. Dear Sam and Dean, this hotel is haunted. You must haunt down the ghost. Interview witnesses, discover clues, and find the bones. First team to do so wins a fifty-dollar gift card to Sizzler. Love Dad. |
| Becky Rosen |
|
You guys are so gonna win! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
It’s gotta be a trap, right? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Sam Winchester, having trust issues with a demon. Well, better late than never. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
And thank you again, for your continued support. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You’re welcome. |
| Dr. Fuller | Why don’t you tell me how you’re feeling, Alex? | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I’m fine. I mean, okay, a little depressed, I guess. |
| Dr. Fuller | Alright – any idea why? | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Probably because I started the apocalypse. |
| Dr. Fuller | The apocalypse? | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah. That’s right. |
| Dr. Fuller | And you think you started it. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Well yeah. I mean, I killed this demon – Lilith – and I accidentally freed Lucifer from Hell. So now he’s topside, and we’re trying to stop him. |
| Dr. Fuller | Who is? | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Me. Him. And this one angel. |
| Dr. Fuller | Oh, you mean like an angel on your shoulder. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No no. His name’s Castiel. He wears a trench coat. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
See what I mean, doc? I mean the kid’s been beating himself up about this for months! The apocalypse wasn’t his fault. |
| Dr. Fuller | It’s not? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No. There was this other demon, Ruby? She had him addicted to demon blood, and near the end he was practically chugging the stuff. My brother’s not evil. He was just... high. So, could you fix him up so we could get back to travelling around the country and hunting monsters? |
| Dr. Fuller | [smiles weakly, then picks up his phone] Urma? Cancel my lunch. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You okay? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No... No, I’m not okay. I – I – I – am... awesome! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
They give you something? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Ah yeah, they gave me everything! It’s spectacu-lacular! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You always were a happy drunk. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean! The doctor! He wasn’t a wraith! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I know. I don’t understand it. I mean, I saw it in the mirror. It wasn’t human. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Or you’re seeing things... M-maybe you’re going crazy! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I’m not crazy! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Well, come on! I mean you’ve been at least half-crazy for a long time. Since you got back from Hell, or since before that... we’re in a mental hospital. Maybe you finally cracked! Maybe now, you are really – for real – crazy! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I made a mistake. That’s all. I’ll find the thing. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Okay. Yeah yeah yeah, I know, I know! It’s okay. Hey, hey! Look at me. It’s okay! ‘Cause you’re my brother! And I still love ya! Boop! |
| Dr. Fuller | You were referred to me by a Dr. Babar in Chicago. | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
That’s right. |
| Dr. Fuller | Isn’t there a children’s book about an elephant named Babar? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I don’t know. I don’t have any elephant books. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
So what, you’re like a Delorian without enough Plutonium? |
| Castiel |
|
I don't understand that reference. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Go ahead. Unleash the Kraken! See you tomorrow morning. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Where am I going? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean, it's Valentine's Day. Your favorite holiday, remember? I mean, what do you always call it? "Unattached Drifter Christmas"? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh yeah... Well, be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
So you're not into bars full of lonely women? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I guess not. [Sam stares at him] What? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
When a dog doesn't eat -- it's when you know something's really wrong. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Remarkably patronizing concern -- duly noted. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
[Dean and Bobby have locked themselves in a closet to keep the zombies from getting at them] Kind of a tight fit, don't you think? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It's all right, they're idiots. They can't pick a lock. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
[the zombies pick the lock] Don't you ever get tired of being wrong? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm making this stuff up as I go. Sue me. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Who gave you that name? |
| Digger | I did. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You gave yourself your own nickname? You can't do that. |
| Zachariah |
|
Wow. Running from angels... on foot... in Heaven. With out-of-the-box thinking like that, I'm surprised you boys haven't stopped the Apocalypse already. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
This is Heaven’s garden? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It’s... nice - ish. I guess. |
| Joshua | You see what you want to here. For some it’s God’s throne room, for others it’s Eden, you two – I believe it’s the Cleveland Botanical Gardens. You came here on a field trip. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dad said they always had the perfect marriage. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
It wasn't perfect until after she died. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm dead. |
| Castiel |
|
Condolences. |
| Castiel |
|
I got your message. It was long, your message. I find the sound of your voice, grating. [stands wobbly] |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What's wrong with you? Are you... drunk? |
| Castiel |
|
[annoyed] NO. [pause] Yes. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What the hell happened to you? |
| Castiel |
|
I found a liquor store. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
And? |
| Castiel |
|
I drank it. Why'd you call me? [stumbles forward] |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Woah there, easy! You okay? |
| Castiel |
|
[waves at Sam for him to get closer] [whispers in to Sam's ear] Don't ask stupid questions |
| Castiel |
|
The whore can only be killed by a true servant of Heaven. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Servant like...? |
| Castiel |
|
Not you, or me. Sam of course is an abomination. We'll have to find someone else. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Leah is not a real prophet. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, what is she then? |
| Castiel |
|
The whore! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No drinking, no gambling, no pre-marital sex. Dean, they basically just outlawed 90% of your personality. |
| Castiel |
|
Her goal is to condemn as many souls to hell as possible. And it's just beginning. She's well on her way to dragging this whole town into the pit. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Alright. So then how do we go Pimp of Babylon all over this bitch? |
| Zachariah |
|
[to Adam] If it's any consolation, you're the illegitimate half brother of the guy we do care about. That's not so bad, right? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Adam, you may not believe it, but Dad was trying to protect you, keeping you from all this. |
| Adam Milligan |
|
Yeah, well I guess the monster that ate me didn't get that memo. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[to Sam] Lucifer's going to wear you to the prom, man. It's just a matter of time. |
| Death |
|
To a thing like me, a thing like you...well think about how you'd feel if a bacterium sat at your table and started to get snarky. This is one tiny planet, one tiny little solar system in a galaxy that's barely out of its diapers. I'm old, Dean, very old. So I invite you to contemplate how insignificant I find you. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
[on sealing the deal with a kiss] Why'd you take a picture? |
| Crowley |
|
Why'd you have to use tongue? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I gotta ask. How old are you? |
| Death |
|
As old as God, maybe older. Neither of us can remember any more. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless, at the end, I'll reap him too. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
God? You'll reap God? |
| Death |
|
Oh yes. God will die too, Dean. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Are you okay? |
| Castiel |
|
No. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You want to elaborate? |
| Castiel |
|
I just woke up here. The doctors were fairly surprised. They thought I was brain dead. |
| Castiel |
|
[to Michael] Hey, ass-butt! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Ass-butt? |
| Chuck Shurley |
|
[Narrating] The Impala, of course, has all the things other cars have. And a few things they don’t, but none of that stuff's important. This is the stuff that’s important. The army man that Sam crammed into the ashtray, it’s still stuck there. The Legos that Dean shoved into the vents: to this day, heat comes on, they can hear them rattle. These are the things that make the car theirs. Really theirs. Even when Dean rebuilt her from the ground up, he made sure all these little things stayed, because it’s the blemishes that make her beautiful. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[about Cas sleeping] Aww, ain't he the little angel. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I want to say yes. |
| Lucifer |
|
Excuse me? |
| Castiel |
|
It's starting. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh, you think, genius? |
| Castiel |
|
You don't have to be mean. |
| Lucifer |
|
Think about it. Dad made everything, which means He made me who I am. God wanted the devil. |
| Michael | So? |
| Azazel |
|
The big Daddy brought your pal Cas back, so why not me? Add a little spice to all that sugar? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much. I had nightmares. I looked everywhere, I collected hundreds of books, trying to find anything to bust you out. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You promised you'd leave it alone. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Of course I didn't leave it alone! Sue me! |
| Woman in store | What's his name? | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Bobby. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
John. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Bobby John. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I spent all that time trying to get through to you. Dean calls once and now it’s “Hello?!” |
| Castiel |
|
Yes. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
So what, you like him better or something? |
| Castiel |
|
Dean and I do share a more profound bond. I wasn’t going to mention it. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Well, you look like hammered crap. |
| Crowley |
|
And you're a vision, as always. |
| Crowley |
|
It feels good to get that off my chest. We should make this a thing. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Do I look like Dr. Phil to you? |
| Crowley |
|
A little. |
| Rufus | So you just happened to have a bamboo dagger blessed by a Shinto priest laying around? | |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Woodchipper. |
| Rufus | Oh, okie dokie. Woodchipper. That pretty much trumps... everything. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Why'd you send him outside? |
| Sheriff Mills | Because I didn't think you'd want him in here. | |
| Bobby Singer |
|
I don't. I've got a body in the basement. |
| Sheriff Mills | My point. | |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Yeah, but I've got another body buried in the yard. |
| Sheriff Mills | Damn it! |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Sam, Dean, I love you like my own. I do. But sometimes you two are the whiniest, most self-absorbed sons of bitches I ever met. I'm selfish? Me? I do everything for you. Everything! You need some lore scrounged up, you need your asses pulled out of the fire, you need someone to bitch to about each other, you call me and I come through every damn time! And what do I get for it? Jack! With a side of squat! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Bobby - |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Do I sound like I'm done? Now look, I know you've got issues. God knows, I know. But I got a news flash for you: you ain't the center of the universe. Now, it may have slipped your mind, but Crowley owns my soul, and the meter is running, and I will be damned if I am gonna sit around and be damned! So how about you two sack up and help me for once? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Try Lautner. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Wait, he’s a werewolf. How do you even know who that is? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Are you kidding me, that kid’s everywhere. It’s a freaking nightmare. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Open your mouth! |
| Teenage vampire wanna-be | [opens mouth] | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Take those out! |
| Teenage vampire wanna-be | [pulls the fake teeth covered in saliva out] | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Ughhh... for the love of... what are you 12? Are you wearing glitter? |
| Teenage vampire wanna-be | I only do it to get laid man! | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Does it work? |
| Teenage vampire wanna-be | [nods] | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
[pauses and thinks] I'll be damned. Alright... MMMMBOP your way out of here. Go. Go! AND USE A CONDOM! |
| Boris | You're pretty. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'm sorry? |
| Boris | I said, you're pretty. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, sorry again, pal. I don't play for your team. |
| Lisa Braeden |
|
You want to know the truth? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Probably not. |
| Lisa Braeden |
|
You've got so much buried in there, and you push it down and you push it down. Do you honestly think you can go through life like that and not freak out? Just what? Drink half a fifth a night and you're good? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Hey, you knew what you signed up for. |
| Lisa Braeden |
|
Yeah, but I didn't expect Sam to come back. And I'm glad he's okay, I am, but the minute he walked through that door, I knew it was over. You two have the most unhealthy, tangled up, crazy thing that I've ever seen, and as long as he's in your life, you're never gonna be happy. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean, it's me. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You are not my brother. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Just listen. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What are you?! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
It's me, Dean! Look. Please, just let me explain. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Why the hell should I believe anything you say? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Okay, okay, you want the truth? Here it is, here it is. God's honest. She was right. There's something wrong with me, really wrong. I've known it for a while. I've lied to you, yeah. And... I let you get turned by that vamp. Because I knew there was a cure, Dean. And we needed in that nest! And I knew you could handle it! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Handle it?! I could've died! I could've killed Ben. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
And that should stop me cold. But... I just don't feel it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You what? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Ever since I came back, I am a better hunter than I've ever been! Nothing scares me anymore! 'Cause I can't feel it! I don't know what's wrong with me! I think... I need help. |
| Olivia | I don't understand. Why would federal investigators be interested in a suicide? | |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Well, it's a new, more caring administration. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I don't know how much longer I can do this, Bobby. You gotta figure out what the hell he is and fast. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
I'm trying, but Dean, there's a worst case scenario. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What, Satan is my co-pilot? Yeah, I know. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Well, that'd be the other worst case. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well then what? |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Maybe it's just Sam. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Tori Spelling. I'm a huge fan. Girl's a real talent. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I guess it does work over the phone. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
You know what else? I get a pedicure once and a while at this nice Vietnamese joint. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Okay, please stop. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
This one girl, Nhung Phuong, name means "velvet phoenix." Tiny thing, but the grip on her! She starts on my toes and I feel like I am gonna - |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Whoa, whoa, come on, man. Now I'm scarred for life! Thank you. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
I never told anyone that. Why am I telling you? Maybe because you're my favorite. Although Sam's a better hunter - lately, anyway. Whoa, whoa, why the hell am I telling you this? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
So, what, you think there's a clinic out there somewhere for people who pop out of hell wrong? |
| Castiel |
|
Somehow, when Sam was resurrected, it was without his soul. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
So where is it? |
| Castiel |
|
My guess is still in the cage with Michael and Lucifer. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
So is he even still Sam? |
| Castiel |
|
Well, you pose an interesting philosophical question. |
| Samuel Campbell |
|
This Castiel? [to Castiel] You're scrawnier than I pictured. |
| Castiel |
|
This is a vessel. My true form is approximately the size of your Chrysler Building. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Alright, alright, quit bragging. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
But if you're the first, who made you? |
| Alpha Vampire | Well, we all have our mothers. Even me. |
| Death |
|
You and your brother keep coming back. You're an affront to the balance of the universe, and you cause disruption on a global scale. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
What's with you and cheap food? |
| Death |
|
I could ask you the same thing. |
| Tessa | Just so you know, when people die, they might have questions for you. Well, you know, not you but Death. | |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You mean like, "how did Betty White outlast me? |
| Tessa | What's it all mean?" is popular. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Cas, we found something. It's this gold box. Apparently Nazis were after it back in the day. Someone tried to open it and their face melted off. I think its the - ready for this - the Arc of the Convenant. |
| Castiel |
|
I'm here Sam. Where's the box? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
I can't believe you fell for that. That was the plot of Raiders, idiot. |
| Castiel |
|
It's very complex. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Mmm-hmm. |
| Castiel |
|
If the pizza man truly loves this babysitter, why does he keep slapping her rear? Perhaps she's done something wrong. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You're watching porn? Why? |
| Castiel |
|
It was there. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You don't watch porn in a room full of dudes. And you don't talk about it. Just turn it off! [Castiel looks down at his lap] Well, now he's got a boner. |
| Samuel Campbell |
|
Is this what you boys do? Sit around watching pornos with angels? |
| Castiel |
|
We're not supposed to talk about it. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Shawshank's a great flick, but let's skip the shower scene. |
| Sparrow Jennings |
|
Your brother was abducted? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Yeah. |
| Sparrow Jennings |
|
Oh my God. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
It’s fine. I mean, I’ve had time to adjust. |
| Sparrow Jennings |
|
Did it happen when you were kids? |
| Sam Winchester |
|
No, like half an hour ago. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I had a close encounter, Sam. And I won. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
You should take a shower. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
So you're saying having a soul equals suffering? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
What about when there are no more leads for that? I mean are you just supposed to sit there in the dark and suffer, even when there's nothing that can be done at that moment? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yes! You sit in the dark and you feel the loss. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Absolutely, but couldn't I just do all that and have sex with the hippie chick? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
No! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Let's say fairies are real, okay? What can we do about them? |
| Marion |
|
Sorry? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I mean, how can we... |
| Marion |
|
Interact with them? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yes, yes. Forcefully interact. |
| Marion |
|
Well, if you want to win a fairy's favor, leave a bowl of fresh cream. They love cream. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Okay. Uh, and... and more forcefully? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
And then suddenly I was in a different place. And there were these beings. And they were too bright to look at, but I could feel them pulling me towards this sort of table - |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Probing table! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
God, don't say that out loud! |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Close encounter! Close encounter! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Close encounter? What kind? First? Second? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
They're after me! |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Third kind already? You better run, man. I think the fourth kind is a butt thing. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You didn't sleep. Cause you don't... sleep. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Right. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Yeah, that's not creepy at all. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
They're not like the Loch Ness Monster, Dean. Dragons aren't real. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Could you make a few calls? |
| Bobby Singer |
|
To who? Hogwarts? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Anyone own a slave? Any ties to the Nazi party? Did grandma ever piss off a gypsy? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Accidents don't just happen accidentally. [beat] You know what I mean. |
| Balthazar | You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trenchcoat who's in love with you? |
| Balthazar | It's just the small details that are different. Like you don't drive an Impala. Yes, yes, 'What's an Impala?' trust me it's not important. |
| Castiel |
|
I need you to let me touch it. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Touch it? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I'll stay and hook up with the posse. 'Cause you know me, I'm a posse magnet. Love me some posse. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well that's great, because without your power, you're basically just a baby in a trench coat. |
| Woman in the News (Eye Witness) | We all saw him. No beard. No robe. He was young and...and sexy. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, he says he's okay. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
How? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
I don't know. I just pray to God it's true. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
We need to come up with a new saying for that. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
So (Castiel's) gone. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Yep. Rest in peace. If that's in the cards. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Dumb son of a bitch. |
| Bobby Singer |
|
Well he was friends with us, wasn't he? Can't get much dumber than that. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You can not be in that crater back there. If you're gone, I swear, I am going to strap my beautiful mind brother into the car, and I'm going to drive us off the pier. |
| Sheriff Mills | Bobby Singer. My hero. | |
| Bobby Singer |
|
That's the roofies talking. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
Dean, look, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm fine. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Oh, yeah, now, you're a poster boy for mental health. |
| Dick Roman | You demons are ugly, lazy, gold-digging whores. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
You want me to "Desperate Housewife" these mothers? |
| Dean Winchester |
|
We're like poster kids of functional family life compared to them. |
| Sam Winchester |
|
That's a low bar. |
| Dean Winchester |
|
Well, hey, grading on a curve's got me past every day since kindergarten so don't knock it. |
