The Avengers Quotes (2012)

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Loki I have an army.
Iron Man We have a Hulk.
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Black Widow This is just like Budapest all over again.
Hawkeye You and I remember Budapest very differently.
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Captain America what's the matter, scared of a little lightning?
Loki I'm not overly fond of what follows.
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Iron Man [To Bruce Banner] You really have got a lid on it, haven't you? What's your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?
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Captain America Word is you can find the cube.
Hulk Is that the only word on me?
Captain America Only word I care about.
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Loki How desperate are you that you would call upon such lost creatures to defend you?
Nick Fury How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill because it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did.
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Nick Fury This doesn't have to get any messier.
Loki Of course it does. I've come too far for anything else. I am Loki of Asgard, and I am burdened with glorious purpose.
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Thor [Iron Man has just tackled Thor] Do not touch me again.
Iron Man Then don't take my stuff.
Thor You have no idea what you're dealing with.
Iron Man Shakespeare in the Park? [with mock theatricality] Doth mother know you weareth her drapes?
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Captain America All right, listen up! Until we can close that portal up there, what we need is containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you've got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash. Thor, you've gotta try and bottleneck that portal, slow them down. You've got the lightning, light the bastards up! You and me, we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here.
Captain America And Hulk...Smash.
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Captain America Big man in a suit of armor - take that away, what are you?
Iron Man Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist.
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Captain America Is everything a joke to you?!
Iron Man Funny things are.
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Loki What have I to fear?
Iron Man The Avengers.
Loki [looks at Stark questioningly]
Iron Man It's what we call ourselves. Sort of like a team. "Earth's mightiest heroes" type of thing.
Loki Yes, I've met them.
Iron Man [grins] Yeah, takes us awhile to get any traction, I'll give you that. But let's do a headcount here. Your brother the demi-god; a super soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, and YOU, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them.
Loki That was the plan.
Iron Man Not a great plan. When they come--and they will--they'll come for you.
Loki I have an army.
Iron Man We have a hulk.
Loki Oh, I thought the beast had wandered off?
Iron Man You're missing the point. There is no throne. There is NO version of this where you come out on top. Now, maybe your army comes, and maybe it's too much for us. But It's all on you. Because if we can't protect the earth, then you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it.
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Captain America Doctor Banner. Now might be a really good time for you to get angry.
Hulk That's my secret Captain...I'm always angry. [changes into the Hulk]
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Nick Fury The world has become even stranger than you already know.
Captain America At this point I doubt anything would surprise me.
Nick Fury Ten bucks says you're wrong.
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Phil Coulson I just wanted to tell you what an honor it is to finally meet you, officially.
Captain America [smiles]
Phil Coulson I sort of met you. I watched you while you were sleeping. I mean...I was present while you were unconscious, from the ice...
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Nick Fury Trouble sleeping?
Captain America I slept for 70 years sir, I think I've had my fill.
Nick Fury Then you should be out, celebrating, seeing the world.
Captain America I went under, the world was at war, I wake up, they say we won. They didn't say what we lost.
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Iron Man I thought we were having a moment.
Pepper Potts I was having 12 percent of a moment.
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Nick Fury What I want to know is how Loki turned two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.
Thor Monkeys? I do not understand.
Captain America [excitedly] I do!
Captain America I...I understood that reference.
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Pepper Potts Phil, come in!
Iron Man [questioningly] Phil?
Pepper Potts How are you?
Iron Man His first name is 'Agent'.
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Phil Coulson We need you to look this over right away.
Iron Man I don't like being handed things.
Pepper Potts That's ok, because I love being handed things. [takes the file and hands Phil her cocktail] Let's trade.
Pepper Potts [takes Tony's drink and hands him the file] Thank you.
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Iron Man How does it feel to be a genius?
Pepper Potts Well, I really wouldn't know, now would I?
Iron Man What do you mean? All of this, came from you.
Pepper Potts No. All this, came from that. [points to the arc reactor in Tony's chest]
Iron Man Come on. Give yourself some credit. Stark tower is your baby, give yourself...12 percent of credit.
Pepper Potts 12 percent?
Iron Man An argument could be made for 15.
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Thor You listen well brother. [Iron man tackles Thor off the cliff]
Loki ...I'm listening.
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Nick Fury How bad is it?
Phil Coulson That's the problem sir, we don't know.
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Phil Coulson [on the phone] We need you to come in.
Black Widow Are you kidding? I'm working. This moron is giving me everything.
Phil Coulson This is urgent.
Black Widow There's no way you're pulling me off of this.
Phil Coulson Natasha...Barton's been compromised.
Black Widow [pauses] Let me put you on hold.
Phil Coulson [waits patiently while listening to Natasha take out all of her captors]
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Iron Man [Standing at the command deck, covers his left eye with a hand and looks at the control panels] How does Fury even see these things?
Maria Hill He turns.
Iron Man Sounds exhausting.
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Iron Man I'm bringing the party to you. [flies around the corner, leading the massive alien dragon crashing towards the group]
Black Widow ...I don't see how that's a party.
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Loki [to Hulk] ENOUGH! I am a GOD, you dull creature, and I will not be bullied by--
Hulk [yanks Loki off his feet and smashes him repeatedly into the ground like a rag doll]
Hulk ...puny god.
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Hulk I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. His head's a bag full of cats, you can smell crazy on that guy.
Thor Have care how you speak! Loki may be beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother.
Black Widow He killed eighty people in two days.
Thor ...he's adopted.
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Iron Man [just regaining consciousness after his fall from outer space] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me.
Captain America ...we won.
Iron Man All right, yay. Good job guys. Let's not come in tomorrow, let's just take a day...[to Thor] You ever try shawarma? There's a shawarma joint a couple blocks from here. I don't know what it is but I wanna try it.
Thor We're not finished yet.
Iron Man [glances towards Stark tower] ...and then shawarma after?
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JARVIS Sir, the phone...my protocols are being overwritten.
Iron Man [picks up his phone] You have reached the life model decoy of Tony Stark. Please leave a message.
Phil Coulson This is urgent.
Iron Man Then leave it urgently.
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The Other The Tesseract has awakened. It is on a little world, a human world. They wield its power, but ally is working knows it's working, so that they never will learn. He's ready to lead, and our force, our Chitauri will follow. The world will be his and the universe yours. And the humans, what can they do, but burn.
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Black Widow I've got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out.
Loki Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakoff's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital file? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's GUSHING red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer. Pathetic! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away. I won't barter Barton! Not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams I'LL SPLIT HIS SKULL! [Loki's saliva splatters on the glass] This is my bargain, YOU MEWLING QUIM!
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The Other The Chitauri grow restless.
Loki Let them grow restless. I will lead them in the glorious battle.
The Other Battle? Against a meagre might of earth?
Loki Glorious, not lengthy. If your force is as formidable as you claim.
The Other You question us? Question him? He who put the scepter in your hand? Who gave you ancient knowledge and new purpose? When you were cast out, defeated!
Loki I was a king! The rightful king of Asgard. Betrayed.
The Other Your ambition is little and full of childish need. We look beyond the earth to greater worlds. The Tesseract will avail.
Loki You don't have the Tesseract yet. [suddenly The Other moves towards Loki] I don't threaten. But until I open the doors, until your force is mine to command, you are but words.
The Other If you fail, if the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevasse where I can't find you. You think you know pain? He will make you long for that so sweet as pain.
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Captain America You know, the last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing above everybody else, we ended up disagreeing.
Loki Ah, the soldier. A man out of time.
Captain America I'm not the one who's outta time.
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Loki KNEEL!
Captain America Not today!
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Thor Look at this! Look around you! You think this madness will end with your rule?
Loki It's too late. It's too late to stop it.
Thor No. We can, together.
Loki [suddenly Loki stabs Thor] Sentiment!
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Nick Fury Is there anything you can tell us about the Tesseract that we ought to know now?
Captain America You should have left it in the ocean.
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The Other Humans. They are not the cowardly wretches we were promised. They stand. They are unruly and therefore cannot be ruled. To challenge them ... is to court Death...
Thanos [Turns toward the camera and grins]
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Iron Man It's good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.
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Pepper Potts Is this about the Avengers? Which I know nothing about.
Iron Man The Avengers initiative was scrapped, I thought. And I didn't even qualify.
Pepper Potts I didn't know that either.
Iron Man Apparently I'm volatile, self-obsessed, and don't play well with others.
Pepper Potts That I did know.
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Nick Fury We have no quarrel with your people.
Loki An ant has no quarrel with a boot.
Nick Fury You planning to step on us?
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World Security Council Director Fury, the council has made a decision.
Nick Fury I recognize the council has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.
  • In today's dollars
    Domestic $623,357,910
    Foreign +888,400,000
  • = total worldwide gross $1,511,757,910
  • - a reported budget of $220,000,000
  • = a 587.2% net profit of $1,291,757,910
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