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The Balooest of the Blue Bloods

Season 1, Episode 23

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Baloo discovers that he is a Baron with a large estate, but his new servants have murderous intentions.

Plot Summary


 But Ricky! I Want to be in the Show!
 But Ricky! I Want to be in the Show!
Rebecca Cunningham is surprised to find the engines of the Sea Duck spinning. She runs onto the Higher for Hire docks and tells Baloo to stop. She needs him to load cargo and fly it to a destination -- also known as his job. Baloo says that he is going to take time off to travel to Louie's Nightclub. He plans to play the bongos in a performance. For some reason, he refuses to let Rebecca see him. He speaks with his hands out the window. Rebecca says that she pays him to ship cargo. Baloo says that Louie gives him respect. She says that she affords him all the respect that someone is always late and partying deserves. Baloo exits the plane to confront his boss. He is wearing a cocktail dress, has fake breasts, and has a fruit hat on his head.

 You, Sir, Are Nobility!
 You, Sir, Are Nobility!
A nearby lawyer strokes his chin and scrutinizes Baloo. Baloo asks the strange man why he is so interested in Baloo being in drag. The lawyer declares himself to be a lawyer before heading over to his butler. The lawyer and the butler confer and decide that Baloo's resemblance to someone is uncanny. The butler removes a sheet from a bronze bust. The bust appears to be of Baloo. The lawyer explains that Baloo is royalty. He is the last in a line of the Barons of Bruinwald and the heir to a large fortune. The lawyer states that he has enough money to buy the Sea Duck 1,000 times. Baloo is excited. The butler fives Baloo a robe and a fez. Baloo changes and hands his drag costume to Rebecca. The butler says that more tailored clothes will be made as soon as they reach the castle that has 650 rooms. Baloo is dazed by the luxury. He steps into a limousine and finds a table set out with confections. He quickly jams all of them into his mouth.

 Hello? Front of the Car?
 Hello? Front of the Car?
Rebecca knocks on the window and tries to talk to Baloo. He rolls down the window and repeats something that Rebecca said earlier, "Never amount to anything." Baloo laughs. Baloo orders his butler to drive him to his castle. Rebecca jumps on the running board and asks Baloo about his job. The butler calls Baloo from the driver's seat. Baloo picks up the phone, and the butler explains that barons have no jobs and never need to work a day in their life. Baloo says he is going to enjoy his new life. Baloo tells Rebecca to find a new pilot. Rebecca falls off the running board. As she stands in the dust kicked up by the car, she asks nobody in particular what she is going to do about her cargo.

 Ominous Castle.
 Ominous Castle.
Baloo's car approaches his castle. Despite the ominous storm clouds, Baloo is impressed with the castle. It has sculpted gardens and a gilded front gate. The car pulls up to the castle, and Baloo disembarks. He is hungry, and the next destination is the dinner table.

Baloo sits at the dinner table and awaits the first course. He says that he is so hungry that he could eat a horse. The butler mentions that he can add it to the next night's menu if wanted. Thunder booms through the castle as the chef Helga is summoned. The clock chimes even though it is 7:25. Baloo is starting to get freaked out by the creepy vibe of the castle. He feels that everything is conspiring against him. Helga arrives with a dish she describes as a "Bruinwald family favorite." She removes the cover on the dish and reveals a boar. Baloo sniffs the boar, and it comes to life. Baloo quickly covers the living beast, and it jumps around wildly under the metal covering. Helga explains that the Bruinwalds have always liked their meals cooked rare. Baloo asks if there is a less living dish. Helga suggests desert. She brings out a chocolate bear shaped exactly like Baloo. Baloo likes what he sees. He plans to eat it, but Helga says she must prepare it first. She cuts the head off the Baloo Chocolate with a knife. Baloo is freaked out by his effigy being beheaded. The butler says that the proper way to eat desert is flambéed. Baloo jumps back as his effigy is lit with a match. He begins shivering as he is freaking out with paranoid fantasies. Helga and the Butler catch him and help him to his room.

 We're Going to Need a Bigger Boat.
 We're Going to Need a Bigger Boat.
Baloo floats in a miniature yacht in a large bathtub. He wears a yachting ascot. He remembers about Rebecca and the Sea Duck. He calls her from his yacht. Rebecca answers the call, and Baloo talks in a bad, snooty accent. Rebecca is disgusted to hear from her ex-pilot. Baloo says the he wants to invite her over for dinner the next night to discuss him buying the Sea Duck. Before Rebecca can answer, a shark lunges out of the water and tries to eat Baloo. Baloo yelps, and Rebecca asks what is wrong. He says he will have to call her back. He hangs up. Baloo tries to escape the shark and calls for help. He uses his yacht to travel around the bathtub, but the shark is faster. Baloo reaches the edge of the bathtub and falls in front of the butler. The butler quickly changes Baloo out of his shark bitten clothes and into a robe. Baloo says that he was attacked by a shark, but the butler claims there have been no shark sightings recently. Although, he does mention that the second Baron of Bruinwald was killed by a shark in this very bathtub. He then explains about the Bruinwald curse.

 The Castle Does Not Have Electric Lights.
 The Castle Does Not Have Electric Lights.
The butler leads Baloo down a dark corridor, leading with a small, lit candle. The butler explains that many Barons of Bruinwald have been killed under "mysterious circumstances." He says that one baron died from eating electric eel soup and that another died after slipping on a pad of butter. Baloo cowers on the floor but regains his composure. He says he does not believe in superstitious nonsense and asks to be shown the kitchen. The butler leads the way. The eyes on a painting of a deceased baron move.

The butler leads Baloo down a series of stairs. One of the steps triggers two swinging blades. They nearly slice Baloo in half. Baloo reports this occurrence to the butler, but the butler dismisses it. He says that another baron died on the same step, being sliced in half by swinging blades. Baloo grabs onto the butler for safety because the butler does not seem to be in life threatening danger. The butler opens a door at the end of the passage.

 Cupcakes! Yum!
 Cupcakes! Yum!
Baloo enters the kitchen and spots a pile of cupcakes. He immediately eats all of them. The butler comments that one of the barons died of choking on a cupcake. Baloo spits up the cupcakes. The butler asks if Baloo needs any more assistance. Baloo says he is fine and will peruse the refrigerator. The butler leaves. Baloo opens the refrigerator and takes out a whole turkey. A blade drops that nearly cuts off his head. More traps spring. Trap doors fall open. Blades fly through the air. The stove shoots fire. Baloo sprints from the room.

 Whatcha Wearin'?
 Whatcha Wearin'?
Baloo returns to his room. He locks and barricades the door. Baloo dives under the bed  and draws the phone to himself. He calls Rebecca. Baloo talks to her in a jittery voice. Rebecca is not interested in talking to Baloo if he is going to be weird. Baloo says he needs help. He thinks a "curse" is trying to kill him. He pleads with Rebecca to come and help. A pounding sound is transmitted over the phone, and Baloo says that the "curse" is trying to break into his room. The phone line goes dead, and Rebecca is genuinely concerned.

Baloo cowers under the bed. A crowbar breaks through the door and forces it open. Baloo pulls out a bed post to defend himself. The bed collapses on top of him, covering him in bedding. The door bursts open and the butler and Helga ask what the problem is. Baloo asks where they were when he was yelling. Helga says that they were in the kitchen setting traps. The butler elbows her, and she says that they were setting traps for large rats. Baloo tells the butler and Helga to make up the guest rooms as he hopes to have company and protection.

 Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.
 Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.
Rebecca and Wildcat the Mechanic arrive at the castle in a taxi. They are awed by the affluence of the estate. As they knock on the front door, Wildcat wonders why Baloo needs their help if he has so much money. The butler answers the door, and they enter. Baloo slams the door behind them and locks the many locks. Rebecca asks why she should help Baloo. Baloo says that he will die without her help. Rebecca says that she will protect Baloo from the "boogey man." Wildcat asks where the bathroom is, and the butler gives him directions. Wildcat wanders off to find the bathroom.

 GAAAHHH! Lighting Fixture!
 GAAAHHH! Lighting Fixture!
Rebecca joins Baloo at the dinner table. Baloo examines his seat and looks for traps. Rebecca thinks that Baloo is being paranoid. Baloo spots a swinging chandelier above him. He asks to trade places with Rebecca. Rebecca agrees, but the chandelier follows Baloo as he walks over to the new seat. He screams, dumps out a champagne bucket, and places it on his head as a helmet. Dinner is served. Helga presents Baloo with a plate of cupcakes. Baloo screams and runs from the choking hazard.

Wildcat continues to search for the bathroom. He is lost.


 Knighty Knight.
 Knighty Knight.
Baloo prepares to go to bed. He locks the door and approaches his bed. He states that no curse can get past the door. The candles turn into flamethrowers and singe Baloo. Baloo flies into  a bookcase, and the bookcase revolves into the wall. In a hidden passage, a suit of armor attacks Baloo. Baloo runs from the room and into Rebecca's room. She is trying to sleep and asks why Baloo is making so much noise. Baloo asks to change rooms, and she agrees if it will keep Baloo quiet. He thanks her as she leaves.

Wildcat is still lost.

 Pinning Shot.
 Pinning Shot.
Baloo tries to get into the bed in Rebecca's room. He thinks the curse cannot follow him here. The cupid statues littering the room begin to fire arrows at him. Baloo shouts for help. Rebecca stumbles out of bed and back into the room. She sees that Baloo is pinned to the wall by arrows. She finally believes that someone is trying to  kill him. A piano with a cupid statue pointing an arrow starts to roll towards Baloo. Rebecca pulls Baloo out of the way before it crushes him. Baloo says they should leave the castle and promises to buy Rebecca a fleet of planes if they survive. Rebecca realizes that Wildcat is still missing.

 Indy! Cover Your Heart!
 Indy! Cover Your Heart!
Baloo and Rebecca search for Wildcat. Wildcat wanders the halls still. Rebecca searches darkened corridors and passages with a candle. Baloo dons one of the many suits of armor in the castle and takes a sword. He calls for Wildcat while trying to not attract too much attention. Rebecca overhears the butler and Helga talking about murdering Baloo. Apparently, it is family tradition for a butler to kill their generation's Baron of Bruinwald. Helga explains loudly that Baloo is the last Bruinwald and that his death means that ownership passes to the servants. Rebecca gasps, and Helga activates a trap that sends her sliding into the room. Helga activates another mechanism that causes Rebecca to drop into a pit of flame and tie onto a board on a spit. Helga and the butler laugh. Rebecca calls for help.

 I Hope That's Chocolate.
 I Hope That's Chocolate.
Baloo hears the cries and runs to help. He climbs into a dumbwaiter and crashes into the kitchen. The visor on his suit of armor closes, and he stumbles into Helga and the butler. Helga and the butler attempt to attack Baloo, but they manage to hurt each other. Baloo falls onto an icing bag and shoots chocolate syrup onto his attackers so hard that they fly back into a cabinet. Baloo locks the cabinet and blocks  the handles with a chair. Baloo returns his focus to rescuing Rebecca. He lowers a rope down and retrieves Rebecca from the firepit.  They open the locked cabinet to confront their attackers, but they have escaped through a secret door. The attackers come at Baloo with knives. Baloo and Rebecca bolt out the front door and run to the front gate. Helga electrifies the gate as Baloo grabs it. He receives a severe shock.

 Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
 Yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
Baloo and Rebecca hide in the hedge maze as Helga and the butler search for them. Rebecca comes up with a plan but it involves Baloo dying. Baloo does not like the plan. Rebecca says that she planned this moment for a long time. Helga and the butler search the hedge maze. They hear Baloo shout and glass shatter. They rush over to the mansion and apparently see Baloo dead on the ground, having fallen from a great height out a window. Helga and the butler call an undertaker, and the three of them lift the "corpse" of Baloo off the ground and load him into a wheelbarrow. The undertaker is Rebecca in disguise. Helga and the butler celebrate the death of Baloo.

 Burger Buddies.
 Burger Buddies.
Rebecca pushes Baloo towards the exit, but two police officers and the lawyer from earlier stop them. Rebecca tells the police to arrest Helga and the butler on charges of attempted murder. The police take the attempted murderers into custody. Baloo invites Rebecca to dine in the castle, but the other police officer blocks their path. The lawyer informs them that Baloo's ancestors were in debt before they died. The county is repossessing the entire estate to pay the balance. Baloo still owes $1.89 as the mansion does not cover the entire debt. Baloo collapses.

At Rebecca's apartment, Rebecca and Baloo eat cheeseburgers and fries. They then remember they left Wildcat in the castle.
General Information Edit
Name The Balooest of the Blue Bloods
Season 1
Episode Number 23
Type Regular Episode
Is Pilot False
Air Date Oct. 15, 1990
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