This is not an official trailer for The Expendables, but it fucking should be. This piece, edited together by the posse known as The Monocular Group, sends a cold, hard message to the movie-going men of the world: August 13th, the release date for Sylvester Stallone's tribute to testosterone and machine guns, is our last chance to stop women from taking over Hollywood. It paints a bleak picture of a world in which Eat, Pray, Love takes the box office crown, and we, the MEN who love movies, are pushed aside in favor of sparkly vampires and Sarah Jessica Parker's sallow visage.
OK, so it's wildly sexist, but hilariously so! Frankly, I was less compelled by all of that, as much as I was the liberal use of Andrew W.K.'s "I Get Wet" in the trailer. That shit is so much better than that nu-metal wank rock the original trailer uses.