|Nothing Can Prepare You for this Special Kind of "Filmmaking"|
There are a lot of things one could do with 91 minutes. You could walk the dog, talk to a friend on the phone, be stuck in traffic on your commute home from work, listen to a new album a few times through, or drink yourself silly. Any one of the activities or something else would be a better use of your time than watching The Human Centipede II: Full Sequence.
Tom Six's second film in this trilogy is meta. The main character, Martin, is obsessed with The Human Centipede. He works in a London parking garage as an attendant. He apparently has no boss either as most of his days are spent just watching the film endlessly. He has a scrapbook of the film where he's cut out various pictures of scenes while adding his own personal touches. Martin lives with his emotionally abusive mother who can't stand Martin because he is the cause of his father being in prison. Martin also sees a psychiatrist, Dr. Sebring. Martin fits the description of someone having major anti-social problems. He never talks and the only emotions we ever get from him are sadness or extreme bouts of rage. Martin might just be the world's greatest con artist as he has moments of what appear to be bits of cunning or premeditation but at the same time he's almost intellectually challenged. A scene later on in the film involving Martin and his mother made me think of Psycho. I don't want to give Tom Six the benefit of the doubt for some bout of genius in the film so we'll just assume it's coincidence.
While the plot of the film is as basic as it gets (man obsessed with The Human Centipede wants to create his own 12 person human centipede), there are several glaring issues that struck me while watching. I find it hard to believe that Martin is the sole employee of the parking garage he works at. Seriously, does no one else work a shift other than him? How can anyone else not notice several cars are there for days on end that would've been towed in some other place? Half of Martin's abductions/killings are caught on camera and while I suppose he could have kept the tapes they were on or erased over them, it seems to be too much work for him to have thought that through. The gun shots or amount of blood left behind by beating people over the skull alone should have attracted some sort of attention. One of the couples he kidnaps has a young son whom Martin just leaves in the vehicle, crying. This occurs rather early in the film and while it's not clear how much time has passed by the end, it seems a young kid sitting alone with no food or water for several days would likely starve. While some of these people probably have no family to wonder where they've disappeared to, I do have to think that over 15 people cannot go missing without someone noticing or caring they're gone. He stores his victims in a warehouse until all 12 are collected and they are tied up with just duct tape around their wrists and ankles. While Martin doesn't appear to visit the warehouse everyday, I would think that at least one of these people could've freed themselves or worked together with someone else to get free and leave. Ashlynn Yennie returns but plays herself. Martin is obsessed with her character, Jenny, from the first Human Centipede and somehow manages to get her agency to have her come out to London under the pretense of auditioning for a role in a new movie. She gets the honor of being the lead segment so that'll go well on her resume. I know I'm being a bit too hard on Six and expecting some kind of logic to exist in this special level of hell, but there it is.
The film is just one long torture porn that makes Hostel look tame by comparison. The only saving grace that kept me going through this film was that it was in black and white. Whether this was planned or done post production, I don't know but I'm thankful for it. Even still, I had to switch my browser to a different window a couple of times because of what was going on. While some of the violence I can take, it's when Martin gets all his victims in the warehouse that things start to turn very nasty. Playing the role of doctor, we get to watch Martin bust people's teeth, slice open their knees and butts and staple mouths to butts all without anesthesia or putting them under. A couple fortunate souls die before Martin can even complete the transformation, which causes him to sob uncontrollably as if his bastardized version of Frankenstein's monster was going to be a beautiful creation. Those that survive are not only humiliated at being part of this horror but subjected to further torture. One of Martin's favorite parts of The Human Centipede was when Katsuro has to make a bowel movement and we get to watch the remaining people endure what happens next. Martin, being the brilliant surgeon that he is, doesn't give his victims that choice. Frustrated that bowel movements aren't moving along fast enough, he injects all of them with laxative. The scene that ensues is forever burned into my mind and I don't think the laying on of hands from the pope himself will help clean it out. As if that wasn't bad enough, one of the kidnapped women is pregnant and a scene of her escaping shows something that I'm truly shocked and disgusted at (as if I wasn't already).
In conclusion, just stay away from The Human Centipede II. I can't stress this enough. If one of your friends is like, "man, wouldn't it be great to watch this film", you need to stab your friend repeatedly and hide the body. Friends don't let friends watch these movies. I can't imagine getting drunk and watching this movie would make the experience that much more enjoyable either. I would rather sit and watch the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movies back to back for 24 hours than watch this film again. God forbid The Human Centipede III comes out, I would probably see that too. I know I shouldn't, but maybe it's just morbid curiosity at this point and nothing else.
Trailer: The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)
Note that this trailer hasn't been improved for release by the MPAA. Have fun sleeping after you watch it!
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