An suburbanite family takes a vacation to the isolated town of Nolbog not knowing that the locals are vegetarian goblins in disguise. Generally regarded as among the worst movies ever made, Troll 2 is 95 minutes of self-confused gibberish.
Troll 2 does not feature a single troll. In fact it's about goblins. It was named Troll 2 to capitalize on the small success of the 1986 film, Troll. Troll 2 is considered my many to be the worst movie ever made and it's seen great success over the years because of this. It's a cult film in every sense of the word.
Goblins in Troll 2
Troll 2 begins with Grandpa Seth telling Joshua a tale about goblins. In this story Peter is running away from the goblins. He falls over and meets a pretty lady with overdone freckles. She feeds him some green paste. He is so entranced until he sweats "chlorophyll" and a tree grows out of him. Joshua's mother enters his room and wonders who he's talking to. She mentions how Grandpa Seth has been dead for six months and that he should banish the thought. She leaves the room and talks to her husband, Michael Waits, about their impending trip to Nilbog. Elliott Cooper and his friends scare Joshua through the window and move onto Holly Waits window. He gets inside and scares her. He proclaims he loves her and will meet her tomorrow. Then he leaves.
The next day they drive towards Nilbog. Holly is upset Elliott never came like he said he would. They waited an extra hour and a half. Afterwords Joshua has a dream about sweating chlorophyll and a tree burst through his chest. He wakes up and his mother offers him a burger. He declines and watches out the window. Outside he sees Grandpa Seth holding a sign that says "Stop them". He makes his dad stop the car by claiming he will throw up. He runs over to Grandpa and asks what he should do. It turns out that Grandpa inhabited a bum for a moment. The rest of the family encourages Joshua to get back into the van. Elliott and his friends go to Nilbog as well. He tells his friends there lots of attractive ladies with no commitments.
They reach the Present's house and exchange keys. On the way out the kid throws a softball at Joshua. The ball reads 'Eat before we eat you'. He throws the ball away and enters the house with the rest of his family. They see that a bunch of food is left out for them. The food is covered in some green paste or spread. Grandpa Seth urges Joshua, outside the window, to stop them from eating any of the food. He helps further, by snapping his fingers, for time to stop for 30 seconds. He gets on a chair and pees over all the food. They throw it away and Joshua gets sent to his room. The room is adorned with goblin pictures and paintings. Each of the bedrooms have signs labeled for who sleeps wear. Michael tells his son "You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!" And apparently they don't eat for the rest of the night.
oh my GOOOOOOOOD!
Elliott and his friends reach Nilbog. They park the camper and watch some TV. Arnold is bored by this and goes outside for a cigarette. He sees a woman running away so he follows her. He chases her down until he tackles her. She becomes convinced he is human and the goblins show up. He stands up to the goblins and they a spear at his collarbone. They run away to a converted church. Inside they meet Creedence Leonore Gielgud. She overemphasizes her eyes and makes every line a long tortuous struggle. She feeds the two of them broth. Immediately after drinking the girl starts to spew green liquid. She somehow wavers and stumbles upstairs. He notices that he can't move. She throws up a bit more and starts liquefying. The goblins come in force and start to eat her. At this point is where Arnold says "They're eating her...and then they're going to eat me...oh my GOOOOOOOOD!"
The next morning Diana Waits, Joshua's mother, notices there is no food in the entire house save for curdled milk. So Michael and Joshua head to the general store. Later Creedence stops by with a special cake as Holly is leaving. She can't help but mention that Holly looks appetizing. At the camper one of Elliott's friends heads out to town as well. That friend meets the Sheriff, Gene Freak, who hands him a very green burger. He takes a couple of bites and goes inside the store. He passes by a group of men that stare at him as he sweats a little bit of chlorophyll. Inside the clerk gives him some milk and the friend leaves. The group tell him that he should go to the house looks like a church.
Joshua and Grandpa Seth
Later Michael and Joshua make it to the same store. There is a sign that says they'll be back in 20 minutes after a sermon. Michael sits down, reads a vegetable cookbook, and falls asleep. Joshua notices that in the side view mirror, of the van, that Nilbog is goblin backwards. He heads off on his starter skateboard to the sermon. He sneaks to attic above. He leaves his skateboard conveniently next to an incline while he watches the sermon. To get a better view he pushes a board and that knocks the skateboard down. They capture him and try to feed him "ice cream". He screams and his father runs in and saves him. They leave to go back to the house. On the way they see Holly with Elliott and his friend. Michael stops and picks her up. Elliott leaves with them and his friend stays behind.
The friend finds Arnold all treed up. He tries to pull him out of the building. Instead Creedence punches him on the bed and chainsaws Arnold into bits. He is then turned into a green smoothie. Sometime later Creedence summons power from her stone henge rock. She turns young with no more chapped lips and white teeth!
Sexy corn dance
They make it back to the house and see a bunch cars parked. The town seems to be having a party. They've made food for them and watch. Joshua exclaims about how they are goblins and is sent to his room. He tries to contact Grandpa Seth then Creedence breaks through the glass. She tries to eat Joshua in goblin form however Grandpa cuts her hand off. She whisks away back through the glass and it goes back into one piece. Grandpa gives Joshua a molotov cocktail. They sneak outside. Before they can light it the goblin minister takes it away. He banishes Grandpa but not before Grandpa sets him on fire with lightning. The minister walks away on fire and everybody takes a look. Michael uses the fire extinguisher to put him out. The dead body lying there is a goblin. Then the goblins in disguise threaten the people. They go back inside the house. The goblins surround the house and throw them some food. Joshua convinces everybody to do a seance. In the middle a goblin exchanges places with Joshua. All the goblins run inside. Meanwhile at the camper, the last friend is watching TV. He sees Creedence sachets seductively with an ear of corn. He goes outside and they go back in. She pushes him on the bed and they eat an ear of corn together. He mentions he likes popcorn better and she heats it up. Popcorn flies from everywhere on top of them.
Joshua wakes up in Creedence's lair. He calls for Grandpa again so he helps him. He gives him a satchel and they stand in front of the crude stone henge. He tells him that only goodness can defeat these goblins. Grandpa disappears again for the last time. Creedence screams into the side view of the mirror because she's lost her beauty. The family has eluded the goblins until they are surrounded again. The goblins disappear because Creedence is calling for them. The goblins capture Joshua until he opens his satchel. He takes out a double bologna sandwich and takes a couple of bites. The goblins reel away in pain. The rest of the Waits family clan and Elliott appear. Diana says Grandpa led them there. They all stand at the stone henge until it kills all the goblins.
Joshua's reply to eating his mom
They drive back home. Michael has to stop by the office, Holly and Elliott go to his house while Joshua and Diana stay home. Diana eats an apple heads off to take a shower. Joshua goes to his room and thanks his Grandpa for everything. He hears some sounds and checks it out. At the bottom of the stairs he catches a softball. The softball is inscribed with 'mmmm Mom so yummy.' He runs to the bathroom where he sees green everywhere. He makes his way slowly to the dining room. On the table he sees goblins munching his mother. The movie ends with a goblin asking him if wanted to eat any of her.
Troll 2 was directed by Claudio Fragasso and the script was written by he and his wife. The cast has said that a majority of the crew only spoke Italian and it made filming very difficult and they worried about the quality of the film. Fragasso also insisted that all the lines in the script must be said verbatim despite the cast expressing frustration and embarrassment toward them. Though it did give us great campy quotes such as "You can't piss on hospitality! I won't allow it!" and "They're eating her and then they're going to eat me! Oh my GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!".
Troll 2 was a critical failure but it found life from it's cult status as being so bad it's good. There are midnight showings held where the audience participates by quoting the movie and even throwing things at the screen. Many internet memes have been created by the ridiculous lines from the film as well.
In 2010 a documentary directed by Michael Stephenson, who was the child actor in the film, was released called Best Worst Movie. It celebrated the terribleness of the movie as well as it's cult status and popularity.