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| Clarence Worley |
|
Y'know, I always said, if I had to fuck a guy... I mean had to, if my life depended on it... I'd fuck Elvis. |
| Lucy | You wanna take me to a Kung-Fu move? | |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Three...Kung-Fu movies. |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
I had to come all the way from the highways and byways of Tallahassee, Florida to MotorCity, Detroit, to find my true love. If you gave me a million years to ponder, I would never have guessed that true romance and Detroit would ever go together. And til this day, the events that followed all still seems like a distant dream. But the dream was real and was to change our lives forever. I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty. And he'd say, "that's the way it goes, but don't forget, it goes the other way too." That's the way romance is... Usually, that's the way it goes, but every once in awhile, it goes the other way too. |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
Isn't he supposed to be a good guy? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Well, he ain't so much a good guy as he is just a bad motherfucker. I mean, he gets paid by people to fuck guys up, you know? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
In that movie he couldn't give a fuck about nothing except rockin' and rollin', living fast, dying young and leaving a good-looking corpse. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Turn-offs? |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
[laughing] Turn-offs? ...Persians. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
In a theatre full of empty seats...Why...Why'd you sit by me? |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
Cause, [laughs] you look like a nice guy and I thought I had to dump my popcorn all over you. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
[Flicking though Sgt.Fury comic] There's great stories. Great characters. Beautiful artwork. See, in this one here, Nick, he's gotten this ring for his sweetheart, and wears it around his neck on a chain. And uh, later on in the story, he gets in this fight with this Nazi bastard... and the kraut, he grabs a hold of the chain and then the ring goes overboard. ...Nick, he dives into the ocean to get it. Isn't that cool? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Y'know, I knew something must be rotten in Denmark. There was no way you could like me that much. Man, I can't tell you how relieved I was when you took off your dress, you... you didn't have a dick. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Look... I've been tryin to keep this whole thing in perspective. I mean, you just said you loved me. Now, if I say I love you, and just throw caution to the wind, and let the chips fall where they may, and you're lyin' to me I'ma fuckin' die. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Was he black? |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
He thinks he is. He said his momma was an Apache but I suspect that he's lyin'. |
| Big Don | Nigga, you smoke enough sherm your dumb as would do a lot of motherfuckin' things. Heh, you be up in there suckin nigga's dicks! |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
Ey' yo, yo why you trippin'? We're just fuckin' with ya. In fact, I'm gonna show you what I mean with a little demonstration. Toss me the burner. [Floyd 'D' tosses Drexl the Ithaca 37 shotgun] All right, peep this. Pretend this is that fine centerfold bitch, y'know what I'm saying'? And you're you... [racks the shotgun and shoots Floyd 'D'] |
| Mentor |
|
Well, can you live with it? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
What? |
| Mentor |
|
I said, can you live with it? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Live with what? |
| Mentor |
|
That sonuva bitch walkin' around breathin' the same air as you. Getting away with it everyday....Are you haunted? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Yeah. |
| Mentor |
|
You wanna get unhaunted? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
[Nodding] Oh yeah. |
| Mentor |
|
Well, I'd kill him. Shoot him in the face, put him down like a dog. |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
Where the fuck is that bitch? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
She's with me. |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
Who the fuck are you? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
I'm her husband. |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
[Grinning] Well that makes us practically related. |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
Now see, we're sittin' down here, ready to negotiate... and you've already given up your shit. I'm still a mystery to you. But I know exactly where your white ass is comin' from. See, if I ax'ed if you wanted some dinner and you grabbed an egg roll and started to chow down, I'd say to myself, "This motherfucker's carryin' on like he ain't got a care in the world. Who knows? Maybe he don't. Maybe this fool's such a bad motherfucker, he don't got to worry about nothin', he just sit down, watch my motherfuckin' TV." See? You ain't even sat down yet. On that TV there, since you been in the room, is a woman with her breasteses hangin' out, and you ain't even bothered to look. You just been clockin' me. Now, I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
I'm not eatin' 'cause I'm not hungry. I'm not sittin' 'cause I'm not stayin'. I'm not lookin' at the movie 'cause I saw it seven years ago. It's "The Mack" with Max Julien, Carol Speed, and Richard Pryor. I ain't scared of you. I just don't like you. In that envelope right there is some payoff money. Alabama's moving on to some greener pastures. We're not negotiatin'. I don't like to barter. What's in that envelope right there is for my peace of mind. My peace of mind is worth that much. Not one penny more. |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
[Opening envelope] ...It's empty. [Laughing] Marty, know who we got here? ...Motherfuckin' Charlie Bronson! |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
He must'a thought it was White Boy Day. It ain't White Boy Day is it? |
| Marty | Naw man, it ain't White Boy Day. | |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
Shit man, you dun fucked up again. |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
Well, well, well. Lookee what we got here. [Reading] Clarence... Worely? [Laughing] It sounds almost like a nigga name. And I know where you live. 4900 116st apartment 48. And I make a million-dollar bet that Alabama is at the same address. Marty, take the car. Go get her. Bring her dumb ass back here. I think I'll keep lover-boy here entertained.[Humps Clarence] |
| Clarence Worley |
|
What the fuck you cryin' for? Huh?! I mean, christ! He's not worth one of your tears! Would you rather it had been me? Is that it? Huh? Do you love him? I said do you fuckin' love him?! |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
I think what you did was... |
| Clarence Worley |
|
What? |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
I think what you did was... |
| Clarence Worley |
|
What?! |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
...so romantic! |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Ain't she the sweetest goddamn thing ya ever saw in your whole life? I mean, she, she a four-alarm fire or what? |
| Clifford Worley | She seems very nice. | |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Nice? Daddy, nice ain't the word. I mean, this girl, she's a peach. Y'know. She even tastes like a peach. You can tell I'm in love with her, huh? |
| Clifford Worley | Son of a bitch was right. She tastes like a peach. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
[On phone mimicing the beginning of 'Chantilly Lace' by the Big Bopper] Hello baaaaby! |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
Frankie, tell Luca to go outside and do...you know what. |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
Do you know who I am, Mr.Worley? |
| Clifford Worley | I give up. Who are you? | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. My name is Vincent Coccotti. I work as counsel for Mr. Blue Lou Boyle, the man your son stole from. I hear you were once a cop so I can assume you've heard of us before. Am I correct? |
| Clifford Worley | I've heard of Blue Lou Boyle. | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
I'm glad. Hopefully, that will clear up the "how full of shit am I" question, you've been asking yourself. We're gonna have a little Q&A and at the risk of sounding redundant, please, make your answers genuine. |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
I have a son of my own, about your boy's age. I can imagine how painful this must be for you. But Clarence... and that bitch-whore girlfriend of his brought this all on themselves. I implore you not to go down that road with them. You could always take comfort in the fact you never had a choice. |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
[Shows fist] You see that? [punches Clifford in the face] |
| Clifford Worley | Aw shit! Fuck! | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
That smarts, doesn't it? Getting slammed in the nose. Fucks you all up. You get that pain shootin' through your brain, your eyes fill up with water. That ain't any kind of fun, but what I have to offer you, that's as good as it's gonna get. And it won't ever get that good again. |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
Well, apparently, that dirty little whore found out we were gonna do some business... 'cause your son, the cowboy, and his flame... came into the room blazing and didn't stop... until they were pretty sure everybody was dead. |
| Clifford Worely | What are you talkin' about? | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
I'm talking about a massacre. They snatched my narcotics. Hightailed it out of there. Would have got away with it, but your son... fuck-head that he is, left his driver's license in the dead guy's hand. [Laughs] |
| Clifford Worely | You know, I don't believe you | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
That is of minor importance. What is of major fucking importance is that I believe you. |
| Clifford Worley | You're Sicilian, huh? | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
Yeah, Sicilian. |
| Clifford Worley | Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers. | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
Come again? |
| Clifford Worley | It's a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin' through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don't believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers. | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
Yes... |
| Clifford Worley | So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. Now this... [Coccotti busts out laughing] No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written. | |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
[laughing] I love this guy. |
| Clifford Worley | Your ancestors are niggers. Uh-huh. [Starts laughing, too] Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a nigger, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-nigger kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant. [All laugh] |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
I haven't killed anybody since 1984. Go over to this comedian's son's apartment, come back with something that tells me where that asshole went, so I can wipe this egg off my face. |
| Vincenzo Coccotti |
|
You know, Sicilians are great liars. The best in the world. I'm Sicilian. My father was the world heavy-weight champion of Sicilian liars. From growing up with him I learned the pantomime. There are seventeen different things a guy can do when he lies to give himself away. A guys got seventeen pantomimes. A woman's got twenty, but a guy's got seventeen... but, if you know them, like you know your own face, they beat lie detectors all to hell. Now, what we got here is a little game of show and tell. You don't wanna show me nothin', but you're tellin me everything. I know you know where they are, so... tell me before I do some damage you won't walk away from. |
| Dick Ritchie | What the fuck you expect me to tell him, huh? I didn't know what the hell was bullshit and what wasn't. And besides, Floyd smoked the second page of the letter. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Elliot, do I look like a beautiful blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice cream? |
| Elliot Blitzer | What? | |
| Clarence Worley |
|
I said do I look like a beautiful blonde with big tits and an ass that tastes like French vanilla ice cream? |
| Elliot Blitzer | No. | |
| Clarence Worley |
|
No. Okay, then why are you telling me all this bullshit, huh? What? You wanna fuck me? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Hello, Lee. It's Clarence. At last we speak. First of all, Lee, I'm a really big fan of yours. That's why I wanna open Dr.Zhivago in L.A. And I need you and your abilities to distribute it. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
Uh, Clarence. Uh... I don't know, Clarence. Dr.Zhivago is a pretty big movie. Y'know? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
The biggest. The biggest movie you've ever dealt with, Lee. We're talking a lot of film here. A man would have to be an idiot not to be a little bit cautious about a movie like that. And... Lee, you are no idiot. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying I'm not interested, Clarence. Being a distributor is not what I'm all about. I'm a movie producer, you know? I am on this earth to make good movies. Nothing more and nothing-- well, maybe less sometimes. |
| Virgil |
|
Alabama, where's our coke, and, uh, where's Clarence? When's he coming back? |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong room. My name is Sadie. We don't have any Coke, but there's a Pepsi machine down the hall. |
| Virgil |
|
Come here. Look at yourself! Look! Take a good look! You think your boyfriend would go through this shit? If you do, you're fucking stupid. You're a very pretty girl, but you ain't gonna be very pretty for very long. |
| Virgil |
|
Now the first time you kill somebody, that's the hardest. I don't give a shit if you're fuckin' Wyatt Earp or Jack the Ripper. Remember that guy in Texas? The guy up in that fuckin' tower that killed all them people? I'll bet you green money that first little black dot he took a bead on, that was the bitch of the bunch. First one is tough, no fuckin' foolin'. The second one... the second one ain't no fuckin' Mardis Gras either, but it's better than the first one 'cause you still feel the same thing, y'know... except it's more diluted, y'know it's... it's better. I threw up on the first one, you believe that? Then the third one... the third one is easy, you level right off. It's no problem. Now... shit... now I do it just to watch their fuckin' expression change. |
| Virgil |
|
All right, no more Mr Fucking Nice Guy. |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
- Oh, God. |
| Cody Nicholson | Hey, you got caught. It's all fun and fuckin' games till you get caught. But now we got you, okay, Mr.Elliot Fuckin' Actor. You just made the big time. | |
| Nicky Dimes | You're no longer an extra. | |
| Cody Nicholson | Or a bit player. | |
| Nicky Dimes | Or a supporting actor. | |
| Cody Nicholson | You're a fuckin' star. You're a fucking star, and you're gonna be playing your one-man show nightly... for the next two fuckin' years for a captive audience! Listen to this. You get out in a few years, meet some old lady, you'll get married, and you'll be so understanding to your wife's needs... because you'll know what it feels like to be a woman. | |
| Nicky Dimes | Course You'll only want to fuck her in the ass because that pussy won't be tight enough anymore. | |
| Cody Nicholson | Good point Detective. |
| Cody Nicholson | Elliot, Elliot... say something. | |
| Elliot Blitzer | Hi. How are you? My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're.. we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree. |
| Dick Ritchie | Clarence, what the fuck did you bring that for? | |
| Clarence Worley |
|
In case. |
| Dick Ritchie | In case of what? | |
| Clarence Worley |
|
I don't know. What the hell do you want me to say? |
| Dick Ritchie | Look, Clarence, Lee Donowitz is not a pimp. | |
| Clarence Worley |
|
I know that, Richard. If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it. |
| Elliot Blitzer | I wish somebody would just come and get me, because I don't like this anymore! | |
| Cody Nicholson | Get ahold of yourself, you fuckin' sissy! | |
| Elliot Blitzer | I really wish somebody would just come and take me away! Just take me away! |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
Like my dailies there, Clar? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Is that what these are? Dailies? Yeah, they're great. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
You like 'em? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Yeah, they're great. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
Better fuckin' be great. They cost me enough. What'd that day cost me? |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Three hundred and fifty seven thousand dollars. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
Elliot, I swear to God, somebody is *stealing* from me. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
We don't have a title yet. What does Joe like? |
| Elliot Blitzer | Uh, Body Bags II. | |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
Ooh, that's imaginative. I've got more taste in my penis. |
| Clarence Worley |
|
Y'know, Lee, my Uncle Roger and Uncle Jerry, both of whom were in 'Nam, saw Coming Home in a Body Bag. They said to me, Clarence, that is the most accurate Vietnam film they'd ever seen. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
I tell you something, Clarence, when veterans of that bullshit war say that about my project, it makes the whole thing worthwhile. |
| Lee Donowitz |
|
Boris, shut the fuck up. We're all gonna die here. These are cops. |
| Boris | So what, they're cops, who gives a shit? Hey Lee, there's something I never told you about me: I hate fuckin' cops. |
| Alabama Whitman |
|
Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through my mind endlessly, repeating themselves like a broken record: you're so cool, you're so cool, you're so cool. And sometimes Clarence asks me what I would have done if he had died, if that bullet had been two inches more to the left. To this, I always smile, as if I'm not going to satisfy him with a response. But I always do. I tell him of how I would want to die, that the anguish and the want of death would fade like the stars at dawn, and that things would be much as they are now. Perhaps. Except maybe I wouldn't have named our son Elvis. |
| Drexl | Now I know I'm pretty, but I ain't as pretty as a couple of titties. |
| Elliot | Hi. How are you? My name's Elliot, and I'm with the Cub Scouts of America. We're... we're selling uncut cocaine to get to the jamboree. |
| Vincent Coccotti | I'm the Anti-Christ. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood. You tell the angels in heaven you never seen evil so singularly personified as you did in the face of the man who killed you. |
| Clarence | If there's one thing this last week has taught me, it's better to have a gun and not need it than to need a gun and not have it. |
| Dick Richie | I don't have a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out. All I got is fuckin' Floyd. |
| Big Don | I eat the pussy, I eat the butt, I eat every motherfuckin' thang. |
| Drexl Spivey |
|
Grab a seat, boy. Grab yourself an egg roll. We got everything here from a diddle-eyed-Joe to a damned-if-I-know. |
| Drexl | Y'know what we got here? Motherfuckin' Charlie Bronson. Mr. Majestyk. |
-
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Box Office
Domestic $12,281,551 Foreign +$0 - = total worldwide gross $12,281,551
- - a reported budget of $0
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In today's dollars
Domestic $12,281,551 - = total worldwide gross $12,281,551
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